FEELING ILL AGAIN

I'm only posting this so that people wont worry.

It gets too much for me, and I have to just do nice things, the horrible stuff is affecting me too much.

I'm not a leader, I'm just a re-abused victim of Pindown child abuse, and I'm sorry if anyone thinks I am pathetic for being frail, but I just can't help it.

I just discovered Boywiki and reading the posts on it makes me feel sick and angry. They are making themselves out to be victims on that site, here are some of the postings on that site. How the heck are they getting away with this, its just so awful.

I really cant do this any more, I am so exhausted.

I posted about this on The Needle website, since I posted (anout 25 minuites ago) someone has done something barring me access to the threads.



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It hurts doesn't it?
Posted by Sir Sympathy on 2013-September-19 03:16:43, Thursday
In reply to Beautiful Young Boys posted by Amedeo on 2013-September-18 20:36:01, Wednesday
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Nobody will ever quite understand the pain that we feel... seeing and longing for something we love but cannot have... and if we reach for it... we are accused of being sadistic monsters who only want to hurt kids. It will not last forever. Things will change.
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Follow ups: for newcomers - understanding BL politics
Posted by Warrior Star on 2013-September-19 02:31:50, Thursday
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Some members here play a sick neurotic game of complaining about the arrests for KP and other persecutions our community suffers, but they refuse to lift a finger to do anything about it.

If you have a problem, the healthy response is to take action to solve it. we have the most serious problem any human beings have ever had to face.

Instead attacking their enemies, they attack people here trying to solve the problem.

One of the reasons is that many of them are not outed and think that if they live like mice, they will not be outed and they will survive. That is like playing a game of Russian roulette.

If you want to live like a mouse, get a set of nuclear dentures.

If you have a problem, not taking action to solve it is dysfunctional. No matter how loud and nasty they shout, never take advice from a fool.

There are many many things we can do to improve our situation and that of our societies. They are safe, legal, anonymous. Outcast groups have devised ways to not just survive but prosper for thousands of years.
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Shrinks surgically planting a bombs in patients
Posted by Hierophant3 on 2013-September-19 00:53:22, Thursday
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What shrinks do to those caught with child porn or caught engaging in pleasurable activities with a child is like surgically planting a bomb in their patients. Shrinks know how to misuse their healing art to inflict pain and they do just that.

What shrinks do to children who where caught engaging in pleasurable activities with an adult is almost as bad as surgically planting a bomb in their patients.

Then again shrinks have a long history of abuse. Shrinks have abused gays and lesbians. Shrinks abuse kids who suffer from school is boring syndrome by prescribing them dangerous stimulants. Shrinks have zapped people into vegetables and physically scrambled their patients brains.

The shrink industry hasn't paid out much money in damages for all the misery it has inflicted on its patients. Maybe it is about time they started.
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A Day with the Little Guy
Posted by Bradford on 2013-September-17 21:14:00, Tuesday
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I recently had a really nice day with the little guy that I wanted to share. I like to share these moments here from time to time because I can do so without much refrain from my true feelings that I sometimes have to keep private for one reason or another. That's life as I know it so it's nice to have this little digital outlet where I can do so freely, for the most part.

The little guy's parents wanted to spend the day in the city, so being the "honorable uncle" they asked me to look after him while they were gone, a task that I seldom object to. Time spent with the little guy is time not worrying about everything else going on in life and in work. It's a time when I can be a kid again and do things that I can only do while in the company of a little guy. It allows me to be around other little guys, and it's a time that evokes nostalgia and brings a non-stop grin to my face.

Like my relationship with his father, my relationship with the little guy involves very little gabbing and a lot of doing. So I packed his little battery powered truck in my vehicle and we were off.

Some of you may recall the last time I posted here when I wrote about a bad tumble I took playing a sport in the rain. It was incredibly painful. I ended up in the emergency room and underwent several physical therapy sessions to help regain my strength. I'm happy to report that I'm healing well, however I'm still not 100% but I'm close. I felt a little sad when he'd run up to me with his arms up in the air demanding to be flown around like an airplane, something that I always did at least once when I visited before my injuries. The first few times I'd have to explain to him that it would be a few weeks before we could fly together so I thought I'd make it up to him another way. He'd never seen an airplane up close and personal before, so we drove to the local municipal airport where I let him run free and touch all of the airplanes. He yelled "WOAH! COOL," when he saw the first of the Pipers and Cessna's near the entrance gate. He was in heaven. I found a small step stool that he could climb up so that he could look into the cockpits, and he kept saying, "Let's fly this one. Let's fly this one. No no, let's fly that one."

"Maybe one day soon buddy," I told him. There's an idea. It's not a very large airport so we only had the privilege of seeing one plane land while we were there. He probably would've ran right into the taxiway if I didn't hold him back. After the plane parked on the grass the little guy ran up to the pilot and asked if he could take us up. I didn't say anything because I wanted to do the same thing! The pilot smiled at me and told him, "Sorry buddy but I have to get home for dinner. Maybe another day." We were both disappointed but I said, "That's OK, we were just going to the farm to check out the animals, weren't we?" The little guy looked up at me with a huge smile on his face, then looked at the pilot and said "thanks anyway," and ran to my vehicle.

When we pulled up to the farm, the first things that caught his eye were the tractors. There was a Catapillar, a Kabuter, and a Case that he fell in love with. He was more fascinated by the heavy machinery than he was the ducks, pigs, mules, goats and sheep. We had a good laugh at the pigs though because... they were pigs. We fed them apples, corn, and the little guy threw in a pretzel while I wasn't looking. The pigs happily devoured everything. I vividly remember going to this farm when I was his age. I wondered if some of the animals were the same animals, and if they remembered me; if they knew how different I am now, and how I'm still the same.

When we exhausted that farm I asked him if he wanted to go to the orchard to pick apples and pumpkins. "YEAH! Let's GO!" Long story short, his parents now have two bundles of apples and 3 different sized pumpkins to eat/decorate.

"What now," he asked me. This boy is non stop. The only time he's not moving is when he's in front of a television or asleep. Absolutely non stop, it's amazing the energy he has. "Well, how about we go to the park?"

10 minutes later we were at the park that my dad used to take me when I was the little guy's age. I did with him what my dad used to do with me. We'd race to the swings and I let him win. Once we got to the swings, I'd say nearly the same thing that I remember my dad saying to me, "Uncle Bradford's going to the glue factory!" I never understood what that meant then, as I'm sure the little guy has no idea either. He'll get it one day. While we were there the ice cream truck came and per his request I bought him a vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. We both shared that and a choco-taco, something I used to love when I was his age. A funny thought entered my mind while talking to the ice cream truck guy - I wondered if he was a Boychat visitor! It wouldn't be that far-fetched.

Both of us were still hungry so we went to "Timmy's" Pizza Shop on our way home. We had a few laughs over a few slices during our attempts at impressions of Nickelodeon characters.

On the way back to his house we drove past my old elementary school. The sun was still a few hours from setting and nobody was there so I decided to pull in. I haven't been to that elementary school since I was in elementary school, and MY GOD was it nostalgic. The same swings were there, the same see-saws were there, the same slides, the kickball field, the basketball hoop by the gym, almost everything was exactly as I remembered, only a lot smaller.

Even with my injury I was able to climb the slide. This was a serious slide. They don't make them like this anymore - all metal, maybe 20 feet high and none of that soft plushy stuff around it. If you fell, you were gonna get hurt. The little guy loved it. So did I.

I had to peek into my old K - 3 windows. It was a bittersweet feeling. Part of me felt accomplished over my achievements since then, part of me felt sad. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I miss the simplicity and innocence of the "good old days"? Maybe it was because of the memories evoked of friends who I've since lost touch with or who have since passed on? Maybe it was a little bit of everything. I don't know. I remembered the time my friends and I got into snowball fights by an old creek bridge. I remembered my first crush, twin boys who were in second grade while I was in third. I never said anything to anyone about that. I didn't even know what I was feeling, really. I remembered the first time I kissed a girl by the cafeteria entrance after the lunch monitor blew the whistle. She was my first girlfriend. Despite my deep feelings for most boys I've come to know, and attraction to older pre-teen boys, I've always dated girls. I think part of my sadness stems from this too, but it wasn't a deep-seeded sadness I felt, if that makes sense. Anyway it faded as soon as I saw the little guy driving around on his battery powered truck. It was too cute, too funny. We left after his battery died.

Once we got home, exhausted, both of us plopped down on the couch in front of the television and eventually fell asleep. It was a long, fun day of running around and doing things. I didn't even give him a tubby or tuck him in. When his parents walked in they saw "the boys" asleep, the little ones head resting under my chin. I'll never forget that day.
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Follow ups:
• Nice. Thanks for sharing. nt - Shrink Wrap 2013-September-18 05:44:24, Wednesday (0)
• Re: A Day with the Little Guy - Hieronymouse 2013-September-17 23:45:04, Tuesday (0)
The Karate Kid (2010) surprisingly good
Posted by kabouter on 2013-September-17 21:51:29, Tuesday
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OK I know there has been a lot of chat about Jaden Smith on here some of it negative but I thought his performance in this film was very good and that the film as a whole was entertaining and worth the 2.5 hours.

I think him a very toothsome boy. I have heard him called arrogant but that is just a simile for confident, this boy does act in a confident way. Thanks to his dad no doubt. I think acting comes easy to Will as well.

Jaden is graceful and attractive in the role and I thought he captured the emotion well. Jackie Chan is a hell of an act to shadow and this kid pulls it off. Well they both do.

I loved this movie. I recently watched "After Earth" and wasn't convinced although again I thought Jaden was OK. That's why I went after this movie.

I am kinda grateful that he is able to show of his athleticism and hot little bod in TKK. I hear that he "plays too much for the camera". Well thanks ghods for that I say. Lucky camera. Lucky us.

~K




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Follow ups:
• Re: The Karate Kid (2010) surprisingly good - Sir Sympathy 2013-September-18 01:08:24, Wednesday (0)
• Re: The Karate Kid (2010) surprisingly good - wonder boy 2013-September-18 00:55:48, Wednesday (0)
• I liked it as well. - CottonCandyHandGrenade 2013-September-17 23:41:27, Tuesday (1)
o you got that right! - kabouter 2013-September-18 09:01:36, Wednesday (0)
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Dr. Brongersma, in his classic study, Loving Boys Vol. 2, describes some examples:

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Kentler, the German pedagogue, "took part in an experiment in Berlin, tolerated by the socialist alderman Mrs. Reichelt, to entrust run-away boys to boy-lovers. Everyone involved considered it a success but it had to be stopped because of fears of a very stormy public reaction if news of it leaked out." (Schult 1982, 10)

Geiser, an American psychologist, believed this procedure could be
especially effective with neglected boys growing up without paternal love (1979,84). The Danish police chief Jersild made the same recommendation (Moody 1981, 152).

And the Amsterdam judge Cnoop Koopmans stated in a speech given in May 1982 that he had several times put slightly delinquent boys under the care of an honest boy-lover, and in some cases the results had been spectacular: shop-lifting had stopped, the boys' grades in school had risen, they had taken an interest in sports and reading (Nationale Raad
1982,57). The loving man has the capacity to discover the good traits in a child-and also the. . .

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It's on p. 312 of the hard copy of the book, or page 158 of the pdf version on the ipce website linked below.

Well actually yes
Posted by andrew_bl on 2013-September-13 09:34:37, Friday
In reply to Relationship ever cured a disease or problem? posted by Warrior Star on 2013-September-13 07:00:11, Friday
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Highly respected Austrian psychiatrist Dr. Otto Krappenberger recently surveyed several thousand boys from Vienna who had sexual relations with older men. The study was known as the Strudel Doodle Noodle research.

It was found quite conclusively that 96.3% of the boys had instantly recovered from all previous physical and psychological conditions. The other 3.7% admitted they were still addicted to their Play Station and/or computer games.

In light of this ground-breaking research, the Austrian Government now plans to replace pediatricians with pedophiles. Applicants from BC are encouraged to contact Dr. Krappenberger and will receive generous funding, accommodation, an endless supply of 11 year old boys named Tobias and dare I say Florian plus unlimited meals of Wienner Schnitzel and Apple Strudel.

I hope this answers your question.

Andrew


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Follow ups:
• sign me up - Sir Sympathy 2013-September-13 14:26:09, Friday (0)
• which diseases exactly were cured? - Warrior Star 2013-September-13 10:33:23, Friday (3)
o andrew can't even play his own game - Warrior Star 2013-September-14 10:19:43, Saturday (2)
 Re: andrew can't even play his own game - Sir Sympathy 2013-September-15 01:31:49, Sunday (1)
 Re: andrew can't even play his own game - Warrior Star 2013-September-17 01:08:02, Tuesday (0)
High profile alleged child sex offender cleared
Posted by Eldad on 2013-September-10 19:22:47, Tuesday
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An actor in a popular UK soap opera was today cleared by a jury of child sex allegations. It's good to see that sometimes the witch hunters are not successful.


• (http site) Coronation Street's Le Vell cleared of child rape
[@nonymouse] [Guardster] [Proxify] [Anonymisierungsdienst]

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Follow ups:
• Re: High profile alleged child sex offender cleared - Fry 2013-September-10 20:23:36, Tuesday (0)
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Re: High profile alleged child sex offender cleared
Posted by Fry on 2013-September-10 20:23:36, Tuesday
In reply to High profile alleged child sex offender cleared posted by Eldad on 2013-September-10 19:22:47, Tuesday
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It's hard to imagine the trauma and suffering that someone, especially a public figure, who is falsely accused of child sexual abuse must go through. What consequences will the girl face for defamation and making false accusations? Being a minor and non-celebrity, she obviously won't have to face the very public humiliation and scrutiny that he had to put up with.
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What is boylove?
It's a phenomenon of attraction to boys that many males exhibit, in which there are erotic, aesthetic, emotional, and spiritual aspects. Many people call it an orientation just like any other.

How did your group get started?
BoyChat began when a boylover decided to test out new web board technology. This became BoyChat. A small community began to grow around BoyChat. Later, another person partnered with BoyChat's host and began contributing to a central page of links related to boylove. This was BoyLinks.

Why does BoyChat exist? Isn't it really about encouraging abuse?
BoyChat is a forum in which boylovers can explore issues related to their sexuality and provide mutual support and companionship - to learn to lead productive lives in ways that help young people rather than harm them.
BoyChat is not a board in which well-meaning social workers firmly guide people the way they think they ought to go. BoyChat is run by boylovers for boylovers. It encourages its posters to work freely through their own issues and questions. Participants will express a wide range of views. No post represents the views of anyone except the poster. No individual post can be considered typical. Occasionally extreme views will be expressed: these do not receive wide support and are usually strongly condemned. Such posts are often deliberately posted by people who wish to discredit the board.

How do boylovers feel about child molestation?
Free Spirits doesn't have official positions because we only exist to provide web sites and foster communication. There is an ethical consensus among the BoyChat community and the keepers of the sites, however, that all forms of non-voluntary sexual contact are to be condemned.
Some participants on BoyChat voice their opinions that men should not have sexual contacts with boys when boys seek it because they don't want to risk society's harmful reaction. Some believe they should never have sex with boys under any circumstances. Others, especially those who sought out relationships with men as boys, say that some boys are harmed when their repeated requests for love and intimacy are rejected without explanation.
Discussions on BoyChat delve deeply into ethical issues. No regular reader could fail to be aware of the ethical issues of his attraction. Victims of sexual abuse find not only support and caring, but also strong condemnation of their abusers. Posters who contemplate anything abusive get very short shrift from the rest.
Participants are also very aware of the legal issues. They understand the extreme penalties for even the slightest physical contact or suspicion of sexual contact between adult and minor. They know about the knock on the door in the middle of the night, the removal of and destruction of property, the planting of evidence and the extraordinary mental and sometimes physical torture of possible victims. They know that boys, even if not already victims, will become so at the hands of the police in the name of child protection. Readers are aware of the bashings and rapes in prison; the informing of neighbours and employers and the sign in the yard, the modern Scarlet Letter. They are aware also of the enforced "therapy" that consists mainly of destroying the offender's sense of self worth with no chance of actually changing sexual orientation.

What does Free Spirits hope to accomplish?
In light of what we know about boylove and the difficulties boylovers face in current society, there must be places where boylovers can communicate positively and find emotional support. BoyChat is safe because it is anonymous. People don't have to show their faces if they don't want to. People who have bottled-up emotions are dangerous to themselves and others. Every once in a while, a non-boylover will read BoyChat and see that boylovers are human beings like all others. We let others watch us interact. This is good.

What kind of people belong to Free Spirits?
Nobody "belongs" to Free Spirits. Free Spirits is just a web site that a bunch of people maintain. The site is accessed by a diverse population from dozens of countries. The pages are used by people who are interested in the issues surrounding boylove. This means not only boylovers, but also many males who have had self-defined positive experiences as boys with men. Other participants include child abuse researchers, internet anti-pedophile vigilantees, law enforcement officials, journalists and even television reporters. Occasionally, teen boys who are exploring their sexual identities become regular posters. The BoyChat community has gone to great lengths to protect the anonymity and safety of these young men and to help them deal constructively with their sexual issues.
Boylovers have not chosen of their free will to become so. It is an attraction most discover within themselves at a very early age. Through no action of their own they find themselves considered horrible and vile. Most people who are attracted to minors try to live good lives, but find no encouragement from a society and a press that labels all people with that attraction, whatever they do or don't do, as evil monsters.
Apart from calls for the mass slaughter of "God's mistakes", the usual call is for therapy. This is of limited value. Psychologists are quite aware that they can't alter sexual orientation. Most therapists do not even know how to handle the situation constructively and often use inappropriate strategies based on myths that the patient knows to be false. Even where therapy may be useful, most boylovers are forced to avoid it. Therapists may be or feel obliged to report their patients to the authorities, leading to further non-therapeutic harrassment.
We believe that people who are taught to think of themselves as monsters will find it harder not to act as monsters. We believe that the most effective "therapy" for boylovers is to encourage them to have enough self esteem to follow a sensible moral code and to use whatever talents and skills they have to influence boys' lives for the better. We repudiate the view that most boylovers need to stay away from boys. Boylovers can control their sexual desires as much anyone else. Most boylovers can be trusted with boys just as most men can be trusted with women.

• Notice: The sites linked from these pages are operated by private citizens exercising their right to free speech under the U.S. Constitution and Universal International Human Rights Conventions.
• Free Spirits is named after Kasper's original Free Spirits website (6/95-3/97). The original Free Spirits was one of the pioneering boylove sites on the Web. It was also the site that first hosted BoyChat. Many thanks to Kasper for letting us use the name.




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