A disagreement with God

I have had an argument with God today. I've been suffering deep depression every day for a few weeks, and not been very well, anyone reading this blog will know why I'm so depressed, as are a lot of people in Britain right now. Today I had the task of cleaning black mould off our ceilings and walls,  a job I have to do every month during the winter since our housing association for a bunch of cowboys to do the roof insulation.

Anyway, I was scraping away at black mouldy wallpaper, moaning about this foul government, and the Lord told me I had to pray for someone I absolutely hate and detest so much I call her the Ghost of Thatchers rsole, Theresa May.  You can imagine how not delighted I was about being asked to do that, hence the argument. If you've ever had an argument with God you will know exactly how I felt, sick inside,  powerless, and angry.  But I very quickly realised it's a waste of time arguing with God,  if He says to do something it's best to get on and do it as soon as possible, as Jonah and other people through the ages have found out.

So here is my prayer.

Dear Lord,

I am praying for Theresa May, like you told me to. I personally think that she is a wicked old witch, but You saw her as a baby and You obviously see something in her that I dont.  I pray that You will help her to see what her government is doing to this country,  and how much people are hurting, and how horrible it is right now here in the UK, and to repent. I know that You can do miracles.  I am sorry for arguing with you this afternoon and losing my temper and I am so grateful to you for dying for me on the cross 2000 years ago and defeating satan.

Love Barbara xx

PIP

I have just opened the dreaded brown envelope, and it is just as I expected, Capita have miraculously cured me of Asperger Syndrome and PTSD!

So I am now an incomeless disabled pensionless pensioner.

I have started not only the appeal process but also the complaints process against the various people who have persecuted me for years.

I've also blocked the multi accounts of DEBORAH KINSELLA and her stalking associates. Stalking is of course a criminal offence in the UK.

See you in court!

GOSSIPS AND BACKSTABBERS

I've had to put up with this bloody nonsense for far too long and it's going to stop. Rie, this is not directed at you.

I am going to ask you people, very nicely, to stop your bloody nasty gossiping about me. I 'll go even further than that, I don't want you even mentioning me at all ever. As far as you're concerned, I don't even exist. I don't exist for you.

I've been very nice so far, but you're pushing me to the limit of my patience. 

As for me being a "lazy cow", I suppose you also think my lawyer is lazy, lying there for years in his coffin not doing anything since the day he was murdered? 

You had better leave me alone. You don't kick angry dogs, they've a tendency to bite back.

Capita, my GP, the Stone Revellers and my family

I have been wary of posting anything on my blog recently due to family problems, certain members of my family who are so hypocritical that if I died (which I'll do my best not to do) they'd turn up at my funeral to scoff all the free cakes after first studying their scrounge books volume 1, 2 and 3 ect (Wer!) to see if there was any way of squeezing blood out of a stone.

To them and their corrupt as bloody hell police and amateur social work scum friends I say something that rhymes with muck followed by off. And if you don't like my style of writing don't bloody well read my blog. And leave Mum alone as well, she's still upset about what you did to her  Damned cheek seeing you never bothered to go to see her for years.

This is for my genuine friends, the people who actually do love me and care about me. I am to be tortured once more in a Capita assessment, not looking forward to it, but the Lord knows my pain. This is the 3rd Capita assessment this year. I thought that might be some sort of record but I've been speaking to someone else who has had 13 in less than 2 years. I was stalked by a relative of the choir mistress Mandy,  he was taking sneaky videos of me at the community choir id plucked up courage to join, the only community activity I was involved in, too scared to do anything in Stone because of the paedos, because of what the paedos have done, their gangstalking. One good thing that will be sure to come out of this assessment is that I will be finding out who is paying my stalkers.  Someone is paying these people, and I do have a pretty good idea where the source is.

So please, those who care about me, my Christian friends, please pray for me at 16.20 on 10 August. It is always really stressful, even though the last 2 Capita assessors were kind people, it's just horrible, no matter how kind the assessors are this wretched system is a torture to the people being assessed.

I'm in a particularly difficult situation because I have a dreadful GP. I am in the process of trying to register with another GP surgery and also filing a complaint. I've also got family problems which I won't go into here apart from saying IF YOU CARED THAT MUCH ABOUT MUM YOU WOULD HAVE AT LEAST SENT HER A BLOODY BIRTHDAY CARD MAKING DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS FOR HER WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE IS PRETTY PATHETIC MUM MIGHT BE A BIT CANTANKEROUS AT TIMES BUT SHE WAS A HARD WORKING WOMAN AND TRIED TO BE A GOOD MUM AND WHAT YOU DID AT DAD'S FUNERAL WAS PATHETIC DISRESPECTFUL AND DISGUSTING YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE WAITED TILL YOU GOT HOME!

Sorry about that, I'm pretty upset. The Stone Revellers. Well, when Dad was alive and in it and when Brian ran it it was great fun, very family orientated. If the people who are now running it are happy for stalkers to be spying on mentally ill traumatised child trafficking victims well all I can say is the organisation has changed a lot since the good old days when it was just an amateur dramatic club that was a lot of innocent fun. I was pretty devastated when I found out the stalker was related to Mandy,  because that meant three people had lied when they pretended not to know who he was. Why would you even do that to someone? What had I done to deserve that? I've had some pretty low scummy things done to me in my life, but that was just one of the lowest of the low, how can you smile so sweetly to someone's face whilst preparing to twist the knife in their back? Judas Iscariot could have learned a few tricks on betrayal there.Vile.

I've just had my bowel cancer letter. I haven't got bowel cancer, I've got gallstones. I know that because I've been shitting stones for months now. I'm having to treat myself for everything now basically because I don't want to end up in a wooden box before the Lord is ready for me,  like my lawyer,  a dear and lovely man Richard Wise.  Poisoned. He was no way an alcoholic neither did he have liver cancer.  He was murdered and those that murdered him might well get away with it in this life but most certainly will not in the everlasting. Heaven and Hell are real places, as C.S.Lewis said, we get a taste of both here on earth.We choose our final destiny. I am going where all the best musicians are going to be, there won't be any music in the other place unless you count screaming and gnashing of teeth and the sound of burning gases music. We choose our destiny here by choosing our God. My God is called the Lord Jesus Christ who was murdered for helping people, just as Richard Wise was. The other thing that tries to call himself God is just another created being, a fallen angel, the brightest angel now fallen from grace. We choose our destiny. We follow the Lord Jesus if we have any sense as He guides us through this dark world, teaching us to be kind, loving, honest, caring, truthful, faithful, trustworthy, until we reflect His own character. I've been accused of worshipping Jon Anderson, for the record im saying it now, I love Jon, who doesnt, he's like a beautiful sunflower, but I certainly don't worship him, Jon is a sweet guy who makes great music, but he's not God and he knows it! So don't spread stupid rumours about me, you know they're not true. I'm saying that for the benefit of the cowards who have long discussions about me behind my back but don't have the gumption to say them to my face. Oh, and I'm  not selfish either.

Sorry, I'm sounding a bit like Tristram Shandy with all these digressions. Perhaps I should write Jupiter after all? Or perhaps not. I would rather have a quiet life, not writing controversial books to defend myself, I just want to "get over it" and play music.

Grief and prayer

So many sad and terrible things happen in this world. It leaves us broken and lost. Dear Lord Jesus, I'm praying for those who are hurting and the broken. Please bring peace and healing into broken hearts.

Another Capita assessment

Looks like I might be ending up in the Guinness book of records for having to have the most Capita assessments in one year. I hope this time it will be a PROPER assessment, done by someone who actually knows something about child trafficking/abuse ect and has plenty of time and patience,  because I can bend down to pick up a penny but I can't stop shaking when I have a fit, no doubt the assessment will leave me broken again, it's like picking a huge scab off the biggest wound possible.

I feel sick inside. My leg throbs, my heart is pounding and I feel like crying. Ah well, that's Britain today. I suppose a lot of people feel just as I do.

I wish Jesus would hurry back, I really do. So tired now.

Broken knee

I fell over last week and my knee is still very badly swollen,it hurts like crazy if I touch it, I think it might be broken or chipped. I haven't been to see my GP because quite honestly I am too scared to go anywhere near my GP now, because of those creepy stalking incidents and that really creepy man Mr Singh, and my GP lying to me.

I can't even change GP because there is only one more surgery and I had to change from that one because of Stafford Police colluding to alter my medical records. I wish Dr Taylor was still there because he wouldn't have let them do that to me, he was ok.

So now my knee appears to be broken, I can still walk but it's very painful.

TWITTER HACKING

It's getting to the stage where Twitter is becoming unusable. My posts are being deleted and I'm being blocked from using my own account. I've been stalked round Stone by two people recently, taking sly photos of me. I must be very important to merit so much attention!!!