I have been wary of posting anything on my blog recently due to family problems, certain members of my family who are so hypocritical that if I died (which I'll do my best not to do) they'd turn up at my funeral to scoff all the free cakes after first studying their scrounge books volume 1, 2 and 3 ect (Wer!) to see if there was any way of squeezing blood out of a stone.
To them and their corrupt as bloody hell police and amateur social work scum friends I say something that rhymes with muck followed by off. And if you don't like my style of writing don't bloody well read my blog. And leave Mum alone as well, she's still upset about what you did to her Damned cheek seeing you never bothered to go to see her for years.
This is for my genuine friends, the people who actually do love me and care about me. I am to be tortured once more in a Capita assessment, not looking forward to it, but the Lord knows my pain. This is the 3rd Capita assessment this year. I thought that might be some sort of record but I've been speaking to someone else who has had 13 in less than 2 years. I was stalked by a relative of the choir mistress Mandy, he was taking sneaky videos of me at the community choir id plucked up courage to join, the only community activity I was involved in, too scared to do anything in Stone because of the paedos, because of what the paedos have done, their gangstalking. One good thing that will be sure to come out of this assessment is that I will be finding out who is paying my stalkers. Someone is paying these people, and I do have a pretty good idea where the source is.
So please, those who care about me, my Christian friends, please pray for me at 16.20 on 10 August. It is always really stressful, even though the last 2 Capita assessors were kind people, it's just horrible, no matter how kind the assessors are this wretched system is a torture to the people being assessed.
I'm in a particularly difficult situation because I have a dreadful GP. I am in the process of trying to register with another GP surgery and also filing a complaint. I've also got family problems which I won't go into here apart from saying IF YOU CARED THAT MUCH ABOUT MUM YOU WOULD HAVE AT LEAST SENT HER A BLOODY BIRTHDAY CARD MAKING DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS FOR HER WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE IS PRETTY PATHETIC MUM MIGHT BE A BIT CANTANKEROUS AT TIMES BUT SHE WAS A HARD WORKING WOMAN AND TRIED TO BE A GOOD MUM AND WHAT YOU DID AT DAD'S FUNERAL WAS PATHETIC DISRESPECTFUL AND DISGUSTING YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE WAITED TILL YOU GOT HOME!
Sorry about that, I'm pretty upset. The Stone Revellers. Well, when Dad was alive and in it and when Brian ran it it was great fun, very family orientated. If the people who are now running it are happy for stalkers to be spying on mentally ill traumatised child trafficking victims well all I can say is the organisation has changed a lot since the good old days when it was just an amateur dramatic club that was a lot of innocent fun. I was pretty devastated when I found out the stalker was related to Mandy, because that meant three people had lied when they pretended not to know who he was. Why would you even do that to someone? What had I done to deserve that? I've had some pretty low scummy things done to me in my life, but that was just one of the lowest of the low, how can you smile so sweetly to someone's face whilst preparing to twist the knife in their back? Judas Iscariot could have learned a few tricks on betrayal there.Vile.
I've just had my bowel cancer letter. I haven't got bowel cancer, I've got gallstones. I know that because I've been shitting stones for months now. I'm having to treat myself for everything now basically because I don't want to end up in a wooden box before the Lord is ready for me, like my lawyer, a dear and lovely man Richard Wise. Poisoned. He was no way an alcoholic neither did he have liver cancer. He was murdered and those that murdered him might well get away with it in this life but most certainly will not in the everlasting. Heaven and Hell are real places, as C.S.Lewis said, we get a taste of both here on earth.We choose our final destiny. I am going where all the best musicians are going to be, there won't be any music in the other place unless you count screaming and gnashing of teeth and the sound of burning gases music. We choose our destiny here by choosing our God. My God is called the Lord Jesus Christ who was murdered for helping people, just as Richard Wise was. The other thing that tries to call himself God is just another created being, a fallen angel, the brightest angel now fallen from grace. We choose our destiny. We follow the Lord Jesus if we have any sense as He guides us through this dark world, teaching us to be kind, loving, honest, caring, truthful, faithful, trustworthy, until we reflect His own character. I've been accused of worshipping Jon Anderson, for the record im saying it now, I love Jon, who doesnt, he's like a beautiful sunflower, but I certainly don't worship him, Jon is a sweet guy who makes great music, but he's not God and he knows it! So don't spread stupid rumours about me, you know they're not true. I'm saying that for the benefit of the cowards who have long discussions about me behind my back but don't have the gumption to say them to my face. Oh, and I'm not selfish either.
Sorry, I'm sounding a bit like Tristram Shandy with all these digressions. Perhaps I should write Jupiter after all? Or perhaps not. I would rather have a quiet life, not writing controversial books to defend myself, I just want to "get over it" and play music.
9 comments:
To clarify, there's a right and a wrong way to do things. The right way of caring for a vulnerable person for example is to first of all, is to make sure you remember their birthday. Birthday cards, well they're as expensive as you want them to be.Even if you don't have any money at all you can make a pretty good birthday card from the back of an old ceriel box. Even if you don't have one of those you could always recycle an old card someone sent to you, if it says Merry Christmas or some other incorrect message you could always cover that up with the correct Happy birthday message.
If, once you've sent the card, be it shop bought it homemade, you observe the vulnerable person looking poorly or depressed or something, the correct way to show your concern is to put your arms round the person (if they don't mind that sort of tbing, some people don't like to be touched) and gently ask them if they are ok. If they're not, they will be sure to tell you.
The way not to help that vulnerable person is a) violating their beloved partners funeral by behaviour that the deceased person knew about and strongly disapproved of whilst alive, with habits that could easily have been deferred until the funeral was over in the privacy of the person with the habits own home b) writing down the bereaved persons birthday so as not to forget it every year for the last 20 years (or longer), and c) not to phone up that person's GP surgery without consent or knowledge of the bereaved person or their carer, especially when that bereaved person, whilst frail, has all her faculties and is as sharp as a button mentally.
I've said my piece and id say it to your face if I see you. But you'd probably accuse me of some crap about causing your health to suffer.
I'm not going to tell anyone what to do, it's not my place, but I know what id do, I would be so fecking ashamed, id get on to Intaflora, and I would send that bereaved person a massive bunch of flowers, with a very short message reading "So sorry I forgot your birthday, dear mother, can't apologise enough for the way I've treated you over the years" and that is all I would say, I wouldn't be ringing that person, or pestering them in any way, id just want to make things right with that person whose heart is breaking. And I would also beg forgiveness from Jesus Christ. That's what I would do, for what its worth, but hey, who am i, Barmy Barbara the nutter.
Erm hi. Slipping notes under your brothers door to meet downstairs for sex is consented sex not rape. If someone were to do that it would need someone to beg forgiveness ftom Jesus christ and not to jump to judge anybody else. Not trying to tell anyone what to do or anything as it isn't my place to
Hello Rie.
Like I said, you'd be best keeping our of all of this. You weren't even born when all this happened.
I'm surprised the Stone Cannabis and Crap Social Work Gossip Club is allowing you to persecute me. I would have thought they'd have more sense than that.
For the record, sexual activity with an 11 year old is automatically classed as rape, it makes not one whit of difference how the victim is lured to the lair.
I'm very sorry that you've turned out to be so vindictive and cruel and that youve allowed other people to manipulate you to such a degree that you've turned on me. But at least it's out in the open now. I've had them gossiping behind my back for years.
Hello Barbara. Just wanted to check in and let you know I'm concerned. Is there anything I can do to help? Thanks
Hi Charles, how kind! Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I'm dreading tomorrow, This is my third Capita assessment this year and it's very very upsetting, it's like being tortured. I've been playing a lot of beautiful music to try to keep myself calm,I wish I didn't have to go tomorrow but I do, I've got Badfinger on at the moment and am just trying to keep myself calm so that I don't have a fit tomorrow. Every time I have a fit the police come and section me. So I'm just trying to keep calm.
If you could simply hold me in your prayers it would be great. Thank you dear friend xx
Just posting to let people know I'm ok. I got through the Capita assessment, thank you whoever was praying for me, I nearly didn't get there as we got lost and got there just in time, I was exhausted before it even started. The lady seemed nice but it's always horrible and I feel absolutely exhausted now, I just feel so tired. My legs turned to jelly in the car park and I thought I was going to end up illegally sectioned again. But I'm back home now and ok.
The Lord's Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1HW_BY-G4yI
"Trying to figure my place, I'm feverish with all my dreams away"
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