Wednesday, 10 November 2021
Mishcon de Reya
Wednesday, 13 October 2021
Struggling a bit
Saturday, 5 June 2021
Harassment from the NHS
Thursday, 27 May 2021
Writing
Thursday, 22 April 2021
LOVE
Most if not all of the problems on this planet could be solved if only we people knew what love is, and put it into practice.
Love is more than a pretty feeling, it's a whole body decision to cherish, to do righteousness. It's an act of worship.
Paedophiles shouldn't be called that. The word means lover of children. Paedophiles don't love children, they lust after children, they lose interest in the child once the child has become adult. That's not love, it's lust.
Notching conquests of pretty girls on a bedpost isn't love either, it's disgraceful predatory behaviour. We have an ugly example of that in the current Prime Minister. What a pity Jeremy Corbyn was robbed of the job of leading this country, we needed a man who first knows how to love and cherish his own family. Instead we have a man who could not care less about what happens to the people in his own family circle, and even less about the rest of us.
Love Thy Neighbour. It doesn't mean spying and snooping on your neighbours, curtain twitching, and grassing them up to the authorities for ridiculous non crimes.
Love yourself. A hard one for many of us, including myself. Us child abuse/trafficking victims have a particularly hard time loving ourselves because we've been on the receiving end of some pretty grim treatment. But we have to try, because we are worthy of kindness and love too. Keeping our own bodies as healthy and beautiful as we can is an act of love and gratitude to our Creator. Forgiving ourselves and comforting ourselves after we've gone spiralling into self destructive mode is loving ourselves. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and you can reverse that, people who have been cruelly broken need to reverse that as well.
Love the Lord your God. We are created, we were made frail and graceful beings, naked and innocent. We have become the most terrifying and wicked creatures on the planet! The wildings fear most people, because they know what terrible things people do. What a joy it is to be trusted by wildings, to have their trust so much that they come bounding up to you when they see you, because they recognise a friend. It's such a privilege to be invited in to a family of birds, when they trust you so much they ask you to help them when a predator is stalking their nest. You don't have to be Dr Dolittle to understand their language, you simply have to love them and listen and watch.
The other creatures on this planet are exploited because of our failure to love them and ourselves. The supermarket is full of dead body parts of poor enslaved tortured murder victims, cold slabs of death, and most of us were brainwashed into believing we had to fuel our own bodies on these gruesome remains. Our own bodies are polluted with death and a cocktail of poisons, instead of being nourished with food grown from sunshine and rainfall. The lies of the advertisers tell us we will get sick if we don't eat animal products, well all I can say about that is take a good look at the state of the people, look how obese and sick we have become as a nation. The Church actually told me that refusing to eat exploited animals was a wicked sin and disrespectful to God. I have had to rethink many of my own spiritual beliefs recently, because some things just don't make any sense. I don't think I'm insulting my Creator by trying to care for my own health and by refusing to take any part in the mass murder and exploitation of other creatures.
Lastly, I don't believe the Beatles were right. They sang "All you need is Love", but I think you need Faith as well. Rejecting our Creator robs us of our own strength. We need to accept Love as well as give it.
Tuesday, 20 April 2021
MIPAEDO
That's my name for the so called "intelligence" services that is the cuckoo nest of filthy child trafficking scum, which is the ruination of this country.
it really isn't a very intelligent thing to do to persecute child trafficking victims, and especially ones who have given their hearts to the Holy Spirit. The sheer stupidity of men who think they can "do as they wilt" in this world and get away with wickedness piled upon wickedness with no consequence.
Gibson Dunn and Crutcher, oh dear! Fast track forced adoptions.
Justice is coming.
Tuesday, 6 April 2021
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have CPTSD, and I know many other child abuse/trafficking victims have this too. It's been caused by decades of targeted harassment, which is what happens to anyone who is institutionally abused in the UK.
Many people do not understand about CPTSD. They think it is like mild depression, something you can shake off easily, if you put your mind to it. In fact, it is brain damage, and it affects people in physical ways as well.
I rarely sleep through the night, not because my mind is ticking over everything and stressing over every little detail of everything, but because of the sheer agony my body is in some nights. Being harassed and persecuted for years and years has taken its toll. I used to comfort eat and had Pica, I was literally eating myself. I used to eat and eat even when I wasn't hungry, and stuff myself with carbohydrate rich foods,bread, biscuits, and make myself sick. I piled on weight, my skin and hair look terrible in some of the photos taken a few years ago, I felt like death, I actually wanted to die, I lost my joy of living. I now have gallstones, and undiagnosed bowel problems which I suspect might be a tumour. I am in such agony sometimes and I've collapsed in the toilet and been sick. I have no access to a GP, because my GP is abusive and sent me to a DWP job coach instead of a specialist.
The pain is so cruel some days, and more often than not at night, it makes me breathless, it's worse than the pain of giving birth. I have to employ the same techniques for coping with it, painkillers don't help, I have to use breathing techniques to "ride it out". I've recently spent some money on some medicine and equipment, and I am thinking about buying a tens machine to help with coping with the pain. Going vegan in 2018 has reduced my weight, and I'm shocked to see old photos of myself looking so ill. I thought I was dying in 2018.
I'm very lucky to have some wonderful online friends, other child abuse victims, and people who are involved in holistic medicine. I am trying to heal my body and soul.
I'm writing this because I want people to understand why I don't update this blog every day. I did stop blogging for a while due to Stafford Police, who are a menace to society. Stafford Police have bullied me again and again over my blog, threatening me, trying to order me to close it down, which I will not be doing.
I am trying to heal and would appreciate any prayers.
Tuesday, 16 March 2021
I DO NOT LIKE BEING HOUNDED BY THE DWP
Thursday, 4 March 2021
THE DWP HAVE STARTED THEIR HOUNDING AGAIN
I had a letter from them this morning. I feel sick inside, they know exactly what they're doing.
It's like being punched black and blue, allowed to recover for a while then the punching starts again.
I'm writing to them today.