I am having chinese whispers about me again. There is absolutly nothing I can do about it, apart from praying. I can't defend myself.
Stuart Syvret, I have upbraided him a few times, for saying, "THE GOVERNMENT YOU DESERVE" but I can feel why he says it now.
If a person goes whispering stuff to another person about a third party, the sensible thing to do is to put it into the public arena what has been said. If you just believe what is being said about that third party, without giving them any chance to defend themselves at all, then that is exactly the same as what Stuart Syvret has had done to him. Exactly the same. Trial by chinese whispers.
I have made several allegations and upset some people. I don't go round whispering behind peoples backs though, like some people, I say it straight out, to their face. I told John Hemming to his face that he is a duplicious scumbag, for the vile way he and his friends treated me for 2 years on the Mothers for Justice website, when Fathers rights groups (led by lawyers) wangled their way into the Admin. I told Brian Clare that I was creeped out by him pretending to know me when he had never met me before in his life - and never met any of the other female abuse survivors that he claimed he knew either, and I told Ian Evans that I was not impressed with his not being open and forthright with me, and that he should not have been encouraging a survivor of Haut de la Garenne to deliberatly get into trouble with the police. If someone does something I dont like, I have the bottle to tell them to their face - I dont go skulking round other people making sneaky sly comments.
Yes, I posted on the Blog of Doom a couple of days ago. I'm as amazed as anyone else that they accepted my comments, and surprised that have still got them up on there. But they wont let me comment there any more.
I am not a mole. I cant prove it though, can I? How can I prove anything, when my enemies are a massive international gang of paedophiles?
All I can do is pray, and thats what I am going to do. I cant do anything else, can I? I will pray one of David's prayers, he knew what it was to get stitched up, Saul played lots of mind games with him. If I end up with only one friend, and the whole wide world turns against me, listens to lies and turns against me, I will still have God and he will never desert me, never.
PSALM 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters. Rev. 7.17
3 He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
5 comments:
You have loads of friends.
- Aangirfan
I know people are whispering about me. I just wish the people who they whisper to would ask me out and out about stuff, just accuse me to my face.
I cant defend myself against anonymous cowardly whispering campaigns, They sow the poisonous seeds into other peoples ears, and they take root, and theres nothing I can do about it, not a thing, except lean on God and ask Him to defend me.
I feel so weak and small and powerless and useless.
Today a very nasty thing happened. I tried to phone Brian Gerrish, and got through instead to a man called Mike. I told him I was Zoompad, and he sounded really not very happy at all. I asked if I could speak to Brian, and he said he wasnt there, he was in Stafford, so as I live near Stafford I asked him where, thinking I might meet up with him, as Brian lives in Plymouth so it would have been good to meet up with him while he was in the area. But Mike said he didnt know, thyen he pretended he couldnt hear me, and said he was going to put the phone down! But he COULD hear me, because when I shouted WAIT! WAIT! he hesitated - I heard him hesitate, he definatly heard me! Why would someone do something like that? Why play that sort of mind game with someone?
I also got into trouble with posting on the UK Column forum, I was posting about Ralph Underwager and Richard Gardner, and the Admin, called the Welsh Messenger, he removed somne of my posts - they were not bad posts, it was about Gardner and Underwager, the truth! He also told Brian stuff about me, I dont know what, this is the thing, if a person has a grievance against another person,m ought they not go to that person and find out what is going on, before going whispering about them behind their back? I was going to ask Brian about it at the Stoke conference, but I ended up shouting at John Hemming instead, and storming off. I really wanted to find out what this Welsh Messenger had said to Brian behind my back, and Brian ought to have told me, just as he ought to have said that he was going to invite Hemming, knowing the way I feel about Hemming!
I just feel so worn out. I went into a church a few days ago, and they had a horrible exhibition in there. I wish I had never gone in there now, its made me feel sick at heart. Like they are sticking up the V sign to the Lord, even in the Lords house. I know its not really the Lords house, but the house that is dedicated to the Lord.
I dont feel welcome in any church. I got the vicar at one church scowling at me and trying to stop me praying for victims of institutional abuse. I wasnt making any noise or being a pest, I was just quietly praying, but people followed me in and they wanted to join in when they found out what the burden of my heart was, and Rev Michael Hayes didnt like it and tried to stop me praying.
My heart is pretty much just about breaking right now. I know what Jesus meant when he said about the son of man having nowhere to lay his head. He was such a lonesome man, he was surrounded by people, but they all deserted him in his hour of need, they fell asleep, they fled and lied that they even knew him, so sad
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