Today's court torture sessionn

I am trying to come to terms with what happened today in court, my PIP tribunal. It's been adjourned. I can't stop crying, I feel like my heart has been stabbed a billion times. I collapsed in court and have just been crying and crying. There were two mental health people, they were kind and tried to help me.  I don't think they really knew what to do, they were very kind but I think they realised there isn't anyone to help me.  They did try though.  They said someone from crisis mental health services would contact me. Well they haven't, I told them they wouldn't, I told them Im on the murder list, the mental health services are run by Stafford police and they want me dead. So there's no help for me from there, they hate my guts. I am tempted to think even the Lord has abandoned me, but that can't be true, He wouldnt, but I do not know why I'm having to go though this absolute hell. I know I'm not the only one. I am in another agony, it's like I've been repeatedly stabbed through the heart.

The bastards from the DWP didn't even show up they are the  shittiest dirtydest evil scumbag spiteful cowards  they couldn't even face me. It's hard to write this as some evil fucker is fucking about with my internet connection. MIPaedo.

I'm very very low. Id welcome some love, some support. I know I've got friends, others who have been kicked to pieces by the same evil scumbags. My fucking evil Scum ex family can all go to hell though. I know they read my blog, I expect they're laughing their fucking nuts off about me being once again tortured. All I can say is, your days will come, it will be your turn one day.  What goes around comes around. And that goes for all those shits at St Michael's church of hypocritical scumbags as well.

I was suicidal earlier, it's hard to go through this kind of torment and not be in total dispair. I'm very very wobbly right now. If I do kill myself I will be doing it publicly and writing all over my body in perminant ink. I do not want to do it but I can't go on like this for much longer it's too long, 50 years is too long.  I am thinking about changing my name to Nelson Mandela as I am a prisoner right now.  The DWP/Crapita and that shit of a church have made me a prisoner.