I AM INSERTING THIS, I DON'T USUALLY EDIT MY BLOG POSTS BORN IN THIS CASE I THINK I NEED TO, AS IT LOOKS LIKE THE SUPPOSEDLY INDEPENDENT DWP TRIBUNALS ARE ACTUALLY BEING CONDUCTED BY THE DWP!!! AND THAT MAY WELL EXPLAIN WHY I WAS TREATED LIKE THIS. I'M ALSO AWARE THEY ARE SPYING ON ME ONLINE, WHICH IS ALSO ILLEGAL.
My son came with me. I was expecting to win my tribunal, I just assumed I would get a humane judge who would take one look at the horrific saga of abuse I've been subjected to this past 50 years and decide in my favour. Sadly, it wasn't to be. The DWP didn't turn up, and the judge decided I didn't have enough medical evidence, I actually had a big heavy bag with me full of medical evidence of mental health issues caused by being trafficked as a child. She adjourned the case and I just fell apart, it took all my willpower to get into that court in the first place. I couldn't stop crying and had a massive meltdown, tried to leave the room, my legs had gone to jelly with the trauma, and my head was spinning round and round. It was horrific. I ended up in a heap on the floor. I thought I was going to die, my heart was absolutely pounding. I passed out.
My son has told me tonight that while this was happening the judge was threatening me to call security, and berating me that I could talk so why couldn't I move my legs. I've been crying about that because I would have thought, was led to believe the tribunal judges are more compassionate.
Altogether, I was on the floor for 2 hours. Some people came in, mental health people. They were very kind but I don't think they really knew what to do.
I think one of these days someone is actually going to die in that court. Someone is going to have a heart attack and they'll find them cold two hours later. I think it's dangerous to do that to people. But I don't suppose they care.
Anyway, that's what happened today. It's absolutely horrific that vulnerable people are being treated in such a cruel and callous way. I was suicidal today, I really felt, was made to feel like I couldn't go on. And I've got to go in for another torture session in a few weeks time. I'm absolutely dreading it, but at the same time I'm almost glad they're treating me like this, because I'm here today, blogging about it. I felt that Jesus had abandoned me today, no He hasnt, He is using me, it's His cross I am carrying, because I had a message on my blog from another child abuse victim, saying I had probably saved his life by blogging my pain.
I'm not going to be able to stop this abusive shit, all I can do is try to endure it, and write about it. There will be trials soon, and I am not going to want to miss being able to give evidence and see the cruel bastards who have made my life a living hell for so long being taken down into the cells. Like George Harrison said, All things will pass.
4 comments:
COME ON BARBARA YOU SEE MUCH WORSE THAN THIS YOU ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN ANY OF US CAN THINK
I'm just exhausted. It's just exhausting all the time. They try to drain the life force out of people, and it's like fighting a million snakes all at once. The human scum responsible for this, I hope they realise that their day of reckoning is coming like a fucking steam train down the line.
One good thing though and it's made me laugh. They tried to destroy me with their fucking pennypinching, robbing me of PIP. It's so funny really, had they left me alone I would not have been frantically looking for the scum who did this, and found the stuff about Barbara Kahen and her links to Amber Rudd!!! And there's loads of people looking into that now! The flap of a butterflies wing ...
I would like to know the answer to this question about DWP tribunals in Staffordshire.
WHY IS THE DWP RUNNING THE SUPPOSEDLY INDEPENDENT TRIBUNAL SERVICE?
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