Wednesday 13 October 2021

Struggling a bit

Sorry for not updating this blog very often, Ive been having a bit of a struggle, a dark night of the soul. Coming to terms with some pretty shitty behaviour from so called friends. Calling people shitty names behind their back isnt exactly what I call a token of friendship. And ghosting them instead of apologising is mean and cowardly. Recognising someones toxic behaviour is part of my healing I suppose. It bloody well hurts though.

2 comments:

fernbrackensomerset@gmail.com said...

many of us read your column and it helped us to know others had been there too
thankyou for sharing, and i am sorry the homosexual perverts were so wicked toward you
we love you x

Zoompad said...

Thank you!

I'm kind of healing now, still hurts though.

It's not just the child destroyers who have stuck the boot in, it's some of my oldest friends, I realise I was even more on my own than I thought I was, my so called friends have been sneering at me behind my back and betraying my trust. The thing is, I was blinding myself to it for a long time, and the penny has finally dropped, it's shocked me to the core.

People I thought were my friends were aiding and abetting the ones who were hell bent on destroying me. It's hurt me so much, but I feel such a fool, all the bloody signs were there!!!

It won't change the way I feel and act. I can't be anything less than I am, I refuse to confirm to the pattern of this world, I refuse to be any less than the way my Creator intended me to be, help me Holy Spirit!

It still hurts though, the way I feel right now is like a puppy who has been whipped, without understanding the reason why. Betrayal is a hard thing to have to deal with.