Thursday, 28 May 2015

Sectioned again, without paperwork, abusive treatment at St Georges Psychiatric Hospital 20th May

I was sectioned again and forcably taken to St Georges Psychiatric Hospital on Wednesday 20th May 2015. I had been put into the position of confrontation with the son of a person who raped me as a child, which caused me to have a meltdown, and I went on a long bikeride and my partner reported me as a missing person, so when I got back the police were round my house, more triggers. The next day I was hysterical, and as my therapist from emotional well being, who has been brilliant, has been taken off my case by her manager, leaving me with no support, my partner didnt know where to go to for help, so he contacted the very people who were pretty much guarenteed to stick the boot in, Stafford Police, the very ones who have covered up institutional child abuse for decades, and the reabuse of victims of child abuse. An ambulance came out, plus the police, one of the ambulance drivers terrified me, he was a big man and he grabbed hold of me as I tried to climb out of the downstairs window to get away from them, and he was shouting at me and waving his hand at me, but the other one was calmer and persuaded me to get into the ambulance and go with him to the hospital at Harplands.

I was taken to Harplands psychiatric hospital in Stoke on Trent, but after waiting a while a lady called Rebecka came out, I think she was a nurse, and she told the police and ambulance men that no-one could see me from there as I wasnt in their catchment area, and told them to take me to Hope Street. I recognised the name of the place, and I said I didnt want to go there as I had already been taken there and the place was terrifying to me as the building was like a prison with bars all round it and cell like rooms that reminded me of the Pindown cell, and Id gone for an assessment to see if I could see an Asperger Syndrome specialist but ended up getting very very very upset because of the trigger of just being in the cell like room, and though I had the assessment, the people couldnt help me because as they told me, Staffordshire has no provision at all for adults with Asperger Syndrome. Id told my therapist with EWB about this, and she was very supportive and understanding, when I explained to her how just being in the room triggered my panic, because of the memories of Pindown, but still, the police tried to force me to go into that very same room, I just couldnt, I sat on the floor outside, so the man came out to me, Jeff Kelsall, and he told me he would phone round to get me some help, I was in such a horrible state, and I told him theyd taken away the one therapist who was actually helping me, and left me with no support at all, despite promising me secondary therapy, whatever that is, and my therapist had been reassuring me that although our sessions were coming to an end that I wouldnt be left with no support, that I would be transferred to another therapist before her sessions ended, she was trying to contact the St Georges network and my GP and not getting anywhere.

I was then told to get into the police car to go home, but I didnt want to go in the police car, and I told the police I wanted to get out of the car, but they refused to let me out, so I tried to open the car door while the car was stopped, but the police sectioned me for trying to get out of a moving car, even though the car wasnt actually moving, and they took me to the same hospital I was abused in as a child, St Georges Psychiatric Hospital again, on a 136 order, this time I wasnt even given the 136 section paperwork. I was seen by two doctors, Dr Gul and Dr Bharedwaj and Rebekah Taylor AMHP and two other people, one was a social worker but I dont have the names of the other two people, the two doctors reassured me that the doctor I had complained about Dr Agell would not be involved at all any more in my case, Dr Agell has made a diagnosis of me when I was sectioned before in November which I have yet to see, he made his diagnosis without proper direct consultation, which seems to be his normal way of doing things, and from what Angela Travis, the community Mental Health nurse who has been put in charge of my care, incidentally I have yet to meet her, because as far as I am aware, I havent even met her yet, all my treatment is being based on the reccomendations of Dr Agell, the Spanish doctor who I have already made a complaint about, Dr Agell totally ignored two seperate diagnoses of me having PTSD due to institutional child abuse and one of diagnoses of indication of Asperger Syndrome.

The care plan for me is a joke, it acknowledges that EWB have discharged me and that I need psychological imput and further therapy, but St Georges plan is for no further plans to engage with me, but for crisis intervention to call the police if I have another meltdown, and mentions that I have needed to be taken to a place of safety (which St Georges Chebsey Ward certainly isnt!) on a 136 court order, so from what I can make out of Angela Travis care plan her idea of treatment for PTSD and Asperger Syndrome meltdowns is for the police to cart me off on another 136 section, which is terrifying and abusive.

I am having to make another complaint, as well as going ahead with taking the last complaint further. I would appreciate peoples prayers very much. I really cant help having these meltdowns, and this time it was all caused from peoples absolute stupidity of making me face the son of someone who raped me, and it brought it all back so vividly, the horrible horrible things that happened to me as a child, I just couldnt deal with it, and I feel terrified of these hard boiled people like Angela Travis, who was so nasty to me down the phone, I wish God would heal me inside of me, I wish that so much, but at the same time I am glad I still have my mind and memories intact, as I am absolutly terrified that these bullies want to lobotomise me so that I dont even remember what happened, I kept telling my therapist that over and over, I have ugly memories, but they are MY memories, and awful as they are I dont want someone to interfere with my brain and take them away and replace them with nonsense, to me that is like death. I think that is what Angela Travis Dr Agell and the rest of them at St Georges want to happen, for selfish reasons, I dont think any of them actually give a monkeys about me, all they want is to cover everything up, make me so very very tiny, squash me, cover me up and block out my voice, because of the abuse that I suffered as a child in care, but why they are wanting to cover that up Heaven knows, because surely none of them were even there 40 years ago when it happened, its very strange how I am being treated.

If people want to play for me, please pray for the truth to come out, truth truth truth, just that.


Anonymous said...

Barbara this is dreadful, i dont know w aht to say, thankyou for sharing.
The norfolk care homes scandal is coming out despite the cover up, West Lynn childrens home, had boys taken to parties where justin fashanu and other queer footballers abused them.
Also names is several homosexual DJs
we wait for more info with interest

Zoompad said...

I'm not going online so much, I cant even get on Facebook any more, I cant access my own account and someone has set up a false account using a photo of me in a blue jumper that was taken at Llandudno a few years ago, cant remember the name they are calling themselves, written it down somewhere, the trouble is, these creeps do so many things you can spend your whole life trying to just defend yourself from their multiple attacks, its made me ill, thats why Im mot going online so much, its disgusting how they are being allowed to get away with it.

Ive had a letter from Stafford Police today, triggering, it makes me feel sick just getting letters off them now, just looking at the police logo on the letter, triggering, but theyve said they are looking into what Dawn Franks did, all I want is just for them to do their job, I just wanted Dawn Franks to do her job, which is investigating serious crime, not trying to trick child abuse victims into signing their name underneath pencilled in stuff in her police notebook, and Ive told them that I am really really upset that Ive been treated like a criminal for coming forward (which is what we are continually being asked to do) and reporting very serious crimes against children.

I have spent most of the day today doing sewing, making mini watercolour kits, gardening and painting birthday cards. I am doing a lot of that sort of thing right now, as I feel like a wreck inside, and those things calm me right down. Im avoiding contact with people, although yesterday I went to Alton Towers, we had prebooked tickets, and I did have a nice time, though I felt a bit guilty, because of the terrible accident last week, I feel so sorry for those people who were injured. I took my watercolour paints and did three sketches, so I did have a really nice day out. But Im having to avoid people quite a lot, because I just feel so fragile inside, and darent put myself into another meltdown situation, I am quite sure the gangsters who have relentlessly persecuted me would love me to end up inside St Georges again, so Im sorry for not updating my blog more, but I really really really need to look after myself.

Thank you for keeping me updated about the Norfolk care homes, it is disgusting, people say "Why did you not come forward sooner", but you can see what happens when we do try to come forward, we get persecuted and we get treated like rubbish by the police!!!

Anonymous said...

Barbara this is so dreadful as if you had not ben through enough.
I hope you are coping.
I hear on freedom radio they covered the homosexual in the boys homes scandal, that the pop festival shambala donates to pedofile charities, I did not know there were any ? hariet Harman and others were behinda lot of this apparently.
Shambala festival is run by Annette blazier whoever she is
anybody know?

Anonymous said...

It was so upsetting to read this, it turned my stomach over, i know this website is really for abused people and i was never abused but just wanted to share this

Anonymous said...

I am so lucky i now have a partner who understands that i was abused, i went through some awful times, but not as bad as you, you must be so strong to cope with this ?
have you been following about greville janner ? what a swine 40 boys came forward
how many didnt ?

Anonymous said...

what happened to you is disgusting, and these people who say homosexual sex with young boys is good for you make me sick

Anonymous said...

please let us know how you are barbara
have you seen this ? its about other jews exposing the cruelty and perversion of greville janner

Orna said...

I think the constant feeling of ''being stonewalled and bound to silence'' plays a crucial part in all of this

Anonymous said...

Barbara its all coming out now, its been hid up for so long, when you first spoke of pindown and what you went through I could not take it in, but so many similar stories have come out since.
god bless you barbara

Anonymous said...

I pray you will find closure to your nightmare.