I was sectioned again and forcably taken to St Georges Psychiatric Hospital on Wednesday 20th May 2015. I had been put into the position of confrontation with the son of a person who raped me as a child, which caused me to have a meltdown, and I went on a long bikeride and my partner reported me as a missing person, so when I got back the police were round my house, more triggers. The next day I was hysterical, and as my therapist from emotional well being, who has been brilliant, has been taken off my case by her manager, leaving me with no support, my partner didnt know where to go to for help, so he contacted the very people who were pretty much guarenteed to stick the boot in, Stafford Police, the very ones who have covered up institutional child abuse for decades, and the reabuse of victims of child abuse. An ambulance came out, plus the police, one of the ambulance drivers terrified me, he was a big man and he grabbed hold of me as I tried to climb out of the downstairs window to get away from them, and he was shouting at me and waving his hand at me, but the other one was calmer and persuaded me to get into the ambulance and go with him to the hospital at Harplands.
I was taken to Harplands psychiatric hospital in Stoke on Trent, but after waiting a while a lady called Rebecka came out, I think she was a nurse, and she told the police and ambulance men that no-one could see me from there as I wasnt in their catchment area, and told them to take me to Hope Street. I recognised the name of the place, and I said I didnt want to go there as I had already been taken there and the place was terrifying to me as the building was like a prison with bars all round it and cell like rooms that reminded me of the Pindown cell, and Id gone for an assessment to see if I could see an Asperger Syndrome specialist but ended up getting very very very upset because of the trigger of just being in the cell like room, and though I had the assessment, the people couldnt help me because as they told me, Staffordshire has no provision at all for adults with Asperger Syndrome. Id told my therapist with EWB about this, and she was very supportive and understanding, when I explained to her how just being in the room triggered my panic, because of the memories of Pindown, but still, the police tried to force me to go into that very same room, I just couldnt, I sat on the floor outside, so the man came out to me, Jeff Kelsall, and he told me he would phone round to get me some help, I was in such a horrible state, and I told him theyd taken away the one therapist who was actually helping me, and left me with no support at all, despite promising me secondary therapy, whatever that is, and my therapist had been reassuring me that although our sessions were coming to an end that I wouldnt be left with no support, that I would be transferred to another therapist before her sessions ended, she was trying to contact the St Georges network and my GP and not getting anywhere.
I was then told to get into the police car to go home, but I didnt want to go in the police car, and I told the police I wanted to get out of the car, but they refused to let me out, so I tried to open the car door while the car was stopped, but the police sectioned me for trying to get out of a moving car, even though the car wasnt actually moving, and they took me to the same hospital I was abused in as a child, St Georges Psychiatric Hospital again, on a 136 order, this time I wasnt even given the 136 section paperwork. I was seen by two doctors, Dr Gul and Dr Bharedwaj and Rebekah Taylor AMHP and two other people, one was a social worker but I dont have the names of the other two people, the two doctors reassured me that the doctor I had complained about Dr Agell would not be involved at all any more in my case, Dr Agell has made a diagnosis of me when I was sectioned before in November which I have yet to see, he made his diagnosis without proper direct consultation, which seems to be his normal way of doing things, and from what Angela Travis, the community Mental Health nurse who has been put in charge of my care, incidentally I have yet to meet her, because as far as I am aware, I havent even met her yet, all my treatment is being based on the reccomendations of Dr Agell, the Spanish doctor who I have already made a complaint about, Dr Agell totally ignored two seperate diagnoses of me having PTSD due to institutional child abuse and one of diagnoses of indication of Asperger Syndrome.
The care plan for me is a joke, it acknowledges that EWB have discharged me and that I need psychological imput and further therapy, but St Georges plan is for no further plans to engage with me, but for crisis intervention to call the police if I have another meltdown, and mentions that I have needed to be taken to a place of safety (which St Georges Chebsey Ward certainly isnt!) on a 136 court order, so from what I can make out of Angela Travis care plan her idea of treatment for PTSD and Asperger Syndrome meltdowns is for the police to cart me off on another 136 section, which is terrifying and abusive.
I am having to make another complaint, as well as going ahead with taking the last complaint further. I would appreciate peoples prayers very much. I really cant help having these meltdowns, and this time it was all caused from peoples absolute stupidity of making me face the son of someone who raped me, and it brought it all back so vividly, the horrible horrible things that happened to me as a child, I just couldnt deal with it, and I feel terrified of these hard boiled people like Angela Travis, who was so nasty to me down the phone, I wish God would heal me inside of me, I wish that so much, but at the same time I am glad I still have my mind and memories intact, as I am absolutly terrified that these bullies want to lobotomise me so that I dont even remember what happened, I kept telling my therapist that over and over, I have ugly memories, but they are MY memories, and awful as they are I dont want someone to interfere with my brain and take them away and replace them with nonsense, to me that is like death. I think that is what Angela Travis Dr Agell and the rest of them at St Georges want to happen, for selfish reasons, I dont think any of them actually give a monkeys about me, all they want is to cover everything up, make me so very very tiny, squash me, cover me up and block out my voice, because of the abuse that I suffered as a child in care, but why they are wanting to cover that up Heaven knows, because surely none of them were even there 40 years ago when it happened, its very strange how I am being treated.
If people want to play for me, please pray for the truth to come out, truth truth truth, just that.