Yesterday I had another panic attack, triggered by a telephone call.
I called the Samaritans, because I was feeling very upset, and told the man all about what had happened, but because everything is linked to everything else, I had to tell him about what has caused my mental health problems (PTSD) in the first place, the Pindown abuse and cover up, deliberate systematic persecution by people determined to cover it up and secret court abuse.
I was trying to tell the man about the secret family courts trying to label me with a syndrome that a paedophile had invented (Parental Alienation Syndrome, Richard Gardner) and he hung up on me.
I was gutted, but as always, I am blogging about it, I can't stop this bad stuff happening but one thing I can and will do is make sure it does not go unreported!
34 comments:
they did that to one of my others too, she was in a bad way and disclosed a small part of her abuse - and was called a time waster and that she'd been told not to call in the past (it was her first call)
Fortunately she called back and the nice person was nice. It was very scary all round though.
I reported it and went in to the office, left some info on DID, but they never found out who it was
Thanks for posting that, it makes me feel better to know I am not the only one.
As soon as I mentioned about the Pindown abuse I felt the conversation chilled. Also, he asked me several times "What do you want" when I had already told him as clearly as possible that I want to be treated like a normal human being by the agencies who are SUPPOSED to be there to serve all of us, ie police, NHS ect with integrity and propriety, as opposed to being treated worse than a criminal or something the cat sicked up.
I do not think I am asking for the moon. Apparently they think I am.
Its not the first time I have phoned the Samaritans and been treated in a creepy way.
I don't believe a word you say. You are seriously messed up. Please get some help or at least a life.
Who the heck are you? You don't work for the Samaritans by any chance do you?
It wouldn't be the first time some malicious moron who works for an agency that is supposed to help people misused their position of trust.
Sorry to hear you had a panic attack. I study epigenetics and am in contact with a fair number of people. Strangely most have had either bad depression and/or a panic attack over the last week! Regarding the Samaritans, avoid them, they are establishment and can only work with an establishment mind. Remember, you have the finest psychiatrist in the world, yourself!
Sorry you had a panic attack. I study epigenetics and am in contact with a number of people that have all had bad depression and a panic attack over the last week or so. Regarding the Samaritans, don't bother with them. They are establishment and can only deal with an establishment mind. You are your own best psychiatrist. don't worry, you are not alone!
I hope you wipe that comment - probably a troll anyway
*everyone* who speaks out abuse child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, is called a Liar at some point - that doesn't make it true
abuse happens a lot, and it's way worse than most are capable of understanding and the effects last much longer
CP, you posted this on your website:
"It is my belief that Britain is being deliberately destroyed from within. Most people are aware something is wrong but are unable to understand why. I believe this is to do with the constant brainwashing the masses are bombarded with, especially on the BBC. "
I couldn't agree more, and have thought that for some time. Some people have accused me of being too cynical, but I know that the people who sent me for child abuse "therapy" to one of the places I was abused as a child sent me there on purpose maliciously, to smash me up, I was pleading with them not to send me there, there was absolutly no need to send me there, even an idiot could have seen what was likely to happen if I was sent there to recount the horrible things that happened to me as a child. I think what is happening to this country is what happened to me, but on a much bigger scale.
Anonymous,
No, I won't be wiping any of the malicious comments left to me on this blog.
I want people to see the crap I have to put up with.
It is my belief that psychiatrists need a psychiatrist! They seem to have a strange idea that one therapy fits all! We are all different. Confronting your past may suit some people but not others. Sometimes bad memories are best avoided, especially if you are very sensitive and caring. I feel your panic attack may have been triggered by the current winter weather. Lack of light can play havoc with the nervous system. Us humans were not designed for a cold climate hence the rate of depression always rises in the winter. I'm in touch with a fair number of people suffering PTSD, strangely many of them had a panic attack on Monday and Tuesday? Those days, especially in the south of England were particularly dark and cold. You are a very strong person and I guess you have a deeper understanding of the suffering of others, due to what you have been though and the PTSD you are now suffering. Looking at this from another angle, in many ways it can be an advantage as your perception is heightened. Don't worry about nasty comments, people that go out of their way to upset others have a problem, in that sense they are to be pitted. It's best to ignore them. Responding to them fuels their evil joy.
They sent me to St Georges Psychiatric Hospital on purpose. They knew I had been put there as a child, after I screamed the place down at Chadswell Assessment Centre. They knew all that because I told them, also it is in my medical records, they would have had to murder too many people to cover all that up!I begged them not to send me there, but they lied to me to send me there, they told me there was no other possible venue for councelling (there was!) and they were determined to send me there. They knew damned well what was likely to happen. If you saw where St Georges Psychiatric Hospital was you would understand, it is an old creepy looking building, the road I had to walk down to get home had that looming omniously on my left and Stafford Prison looming on my right. They basically sent me to one of the nastiest and most inappropriate places in Stafford for child abuse therapy, and they did it on purpose to break me down, because I am too vocal about the Pindown and secret family court scandals!
The panic attacks are triggered by the complete powerless I feel at times. I think you are right about me needing more light though. I try to keep close to God, and pray to Him when I get upset, try to.
The nasty comments - I know how much the paedotrolls hate and detest anyone who is trying to expose what they have done and are still doing. I suppose it is an occupational hazard. They will all reap their reward for being so wicked one day, I am just a witness to the devilment, the Lord will give all of us our just reward. I hope the paedotrolls realise that hell is for all eternity, Jesusw did make that quite clear when he told the parable of Lazarus and Dives!
My Hotmail account is down again!!!!
I don't trust that hospital AT ALL - Pat Howlin lied in court as did Dimashaw Master (SHRINK pal of hers) - your calls could be being diverted to press or police - it happened to ME - very scary criminals behind it Barb - we have rattled them and they are cross - but - they are going to pay : )
"your calls could be being diverted to press or police"
I never thought of that possibility! Thanks for that.
Given my experience of the Samaritans, what you're reporting is entirely credible, Zoompad.
As another poster has said, they're yet another arm of the establishment. Their purpose is to 'manage' people's valid distress. This valid distress should be practically dealt with at root cause, not just shushed up - however kindly meant.
When that fails, they then condone suicide.
Seriously, anyone who's reading this, please know that the Samaritans are NOT there to save people from ending their lives - despite the spin.
Their official policy is to not talk a caller out of such action, but to stay on the phone with them until they pass out or die. "To keep them company whilst they die" is the way it was related to me by a Sam.
Surely I'm not the only one who sees this as totally fucked up?
Yes.
The Samaritans used to be good at one time, because when I was being abused as a child I called the Samaritans and she really did actually try to help me, she turned out to be my french lecturer at college, and because I had been at college with a black eye she had asked me how I got it and I lied to her to cover up that my brother had punched me one. But when I phoned up the Samaritans that night and told the lady on the other end that I was being abused and had been punched to the floor she knew it was me, and she came round to my house. I wasnt ready to face up to the stuff at that time, all I wanted was for the abuse to stop, but I remember how kind she was, that was 40 years ago. I think things have changed a lot, because now if you call the Samaritans you dont necessarily get someone local, but now all these agencies that are SUPPOSED to only have an agenda to help people are used to spy on people, because MI shitbags have infiltrated everything now. I think the military secret services need opening up and disbanding, because they are supposed to be there to protect the citizens of the country, not to be prying and mucking people who have suffered institutional abuse around and trying to shut them all up to prevent a national scandal, but thats exactly what they are doing, and it is wicked and illegal.
I am a Samaritan, and have been for many years. It's your prerogative to believe what you will, but given the negative comments about Samaritans, I feel I need to try to set the records straight. Regarding Samaritans being "establishment", I assure you that we are not. We don't take a penny from the Government or any other central organisations. We don't give details of calls or callers, in any way, to the police or any other body, other than if they put the door in and serve us with a court order to seize the information.
We are not an "establishment" - we are a collection of people from all walks of life, who have one thing in common, and that is to reduce the number of suicides. Having said that, Samaritans believe that people have the right to make their own judgements regarding taking their life, so indeed, we won't try to talk you out of it. We don't counsel, give advice, opinion or prejudice. We are there simply to listen, and to give people a safe environment to explore their feelings. By doing this, folk often find their inner strengths to deal with issues. We're not there just for suicidal people either. People experiencing any negative emotions such as distress and despair, are welcome to call.
Please remember that thought we get a great many calls from people with psychiatric or mental health issues, we are not trained in these fields, and we don't differentiate between mental health issues and other issues. Bear with us if we don't know what a CPN is, or PTSD at the off. We will learn from you, as we try to help.
As for "talking to people whilst they die" - Yes we do that. Given that we won't talk someone out of suicide, then if someone has chosen to end their life, then sometimes the greatest kindness we can do is to make sure that they aren't alone at the end. Many people's greatest fear is to die alone.
So, I'm sorry if you spoke to a Samaritan who didn't follow our training and ethos as they should have. We have a complaints procedure that does all that it can to locate any Samaritan who is the subject of a complaint. I'm afraid that this isn't always possible, and this is partly due to our extreme levels of confidentiality, and lack of long term detailed call records.
Samaritans are there for you, 24 hours a day, to support you. We will do our best to give you a safe environment to explore your feelings. 08457 90 90 90.
Thanks for caring enough to come here and post that.
I've had some incredibly bad experiences, and it's very very hard for me now to know who I can trust.
I know there are some really kind people in the Samaritans because I have had some experience of that.
It's the terror of being ganged up on that has traumatised me so badly. For me, it's like I have been blindfolded and punched all over by people whose faces I can't see, it it terrifying.
You sound like a nice person. Please can I ask you to do something? If anyone phones you up in a state, and tells you the sort of horror story of seriel institutional abuse that I did, please, and I know its a big ask, please can you try not to hang up on them, even if the person goes on and on and on? Because you might be the only lifeline that person has at that moment. If you do have to cut the person short, please can you say a prayer in your heart for that person?
I know how needy I can be, I'm ashamed of it, I hate being so needy and weepy and pathetic, but it's the seriel abuse that has done that to me, and oh God I wish I wasn't like that!
"We are not an "establishment" - we are a collection of people from all walks of life, who have one thing in common, and that is to reduce the number of suicides."
But you do have conferences and meetings, and you surely must have a code of ethics as well.
If victims of crime are coming to you, as I did, with horrendous stories of illegal malicious vindictive persecution, bullying, cover up of serious crime, and pretty much goaded into depression and suicide, isn't there something you can do?
I know I'm not the only Pindown child abuse victim who has gone to the Samaritans in desperation, as a last resort, after being through all the hurdles that are put in the way of justice, and, even more worrying, the actual stopping of the abuse.
Is there absolutly nothing you people can do, apart from talking to us Pindown victims in a soothing way?
I've just had a look at Pat Howlins research and she looks like a proper researcher on autism to me.
I havent had any problem with her, I dont think I've even ever met her, it was Joanna Simpson Blake who I had the problem with, and I cant understand why Joanna Simpson Blake was ever involved in my case, because she works with ex offenders and I'm not a convicted criminal, I'm a victim of child abuse, so why did they send me to her for "therapy"?
"As for "talking to people whilst they die" - Yes we do that. Given that we won't talk someone out of suicide, then if someone has chosen to end their life, then sometimes the greatest kindness we can do is to make sure that they aren't alone at the end. Many people's greatest fear is to die alone. "
I know what your saying, but I never wanted to commit suicide, not ever, not really, and the attempts that I made were a cry for help, as at the time I was being persecuted by what I now know were a big gang of paedophiles and human traffickers. I didnt know about Richard Gardner and Ralph Underwager when I made the suicide attempts, it was a huge shock when I found out who had been trying to push me over the edge.
Every time I have phoned the Samaritans it was never because I wanted to die but I wanted someone to help me to live!
Surely the Samaritans must keep records on how many Pindown child abuse victims contact them for help?
Isn't there anything you people can do about this?
I dont think most of us want to die, I think most of us want to live but we all get reabused - its horrible the way Pindown has been covered up, so cruel
Surely the Samaritans must keep records on how many Pindown child abuse victims contact them for help?
Isn't there anything you people can do about this?
I dont think most of us want to die, I think most of us want to live but we all get reabused - its horrible the way Pindown has been covered up, so cruel
I am still waiting for a proper apology for all the abuse and reabuse, the abuse in my childhood and the reabuse that was an attempt to cover up the abuse I suffered as a child.
I have asked Jesus for this apology, and I know God does answer prayers, so I know I will get it eventually.
Then, maybe I can finally "get over it" as everyone wants me to do. I can't do that until I feel safe, and I don't feel safe without that apology, it means a lot to me.
Stafford Police tried to trick me over that, and thats just another layer to the abuse, trying to get me to sign pencilled in stuff in a police notebook, thats even more abuse!
That went in the wrong place I wanted to put it on the latest thread so everyone knows what I want!
"Anonymous said...
I am a Samaritan, and have been for many years. It's your prerogative to believe what you will, but given the negative comments about Samaritans, I feel I need to try to set the records straight. "
I can be very naive at times, and totally missed the point about this comment, posted on 24 October 2013 04:39 WHAT THE BLEEDING HECK WAS A SAMARITAN DOING POSTING THIS ANONYMOUS COMMENT ONTO MY BLOG ANYWAY???
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOING ROUND PEOPLES BLOGS, THAT IS STALKING!!!
But, as these people ARE going round peoples blogs, why are they totally failing to help child abuse victim bloggers like me who have been let down by the system time after time after time?
I mean, COME ON! You can't have it both ways! If you people are going to stalk me online and read everything I write, why aren't you speaking out about the crimes that have been committed against me and other Pindown victims?
Teresa May is calling for the police to be legally allowed to follow people on social networking, and I actually agree with that, on one condition - that they don't do so anonymously, as some of them are doing now.
If the police were openly following this blog I would welcome them, because so many serious crimes have been committed against me and other Pindown child abuse victims, and we've been blocked from the justice system. I have all sorts of quango members following me on this blog, I also have other Pindown abuse victims and whistleblowers, and MI5 agents.
I phoned the Samaritans a few years ago. I had had a panic attack at work and made an error .When I told the advisor about it she said "That was stupid"!
Samaritan phone lines semi-regularly cut off, it's the phone line, not the Samaritan. I live in Ireland so there aren't as many Samaritans, you can get lucky and when you call back you actually get the same person. They are able to confirm that you were cut off and continue the listening.
They told me Samaritans will never ever ever hang up without saying they are going to hang up or saying goodbye, even if they hang up because you are screaming abuse at them, it is against their rules not to say they are hanging up or say goodbye.
Well they did. And I wasn't screaming abuse at the person, I don't do that to anyone. I don't like your tone, I don't know who you are but it's pretty off to make that kind of comment anonymously. You've haven't actually accused me of screaming abuse down the phone but the fact you've mentioned is pretty under the belt. I don't know who you are, perhaps you're the kind of person who rings the Samaritans up and screams abuse down the phone at them, I wouldn't know about that, you obviously have some knowledge of that kind of aggressive behaviour as you've taken time to post anonymously about it on my blog, at any rate, it's not the kind of behaviour id know anything about as it's not the kind of thing I would ever do to anyone.
That was in 2013. Since then I've had a couple of much kinder and more appropriate experiences with the Samaritans. I think some of the bad ones who were trying to cover up for child traffickers may have left. The last two times I had to ring the Samaritans I spoke to two very lovely and kind people.
Samaritans need to be very careful with traumatised child trafficking victims. The one thing they should never ever do is post things anonymously on the blog of someone who they spoke to over the phone who was distraught. I don't mind at all if Samaritans write on my blog to contradict me, but NOT ANONYMOUSLY!!!!!
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