I have still had no reply from my MP, Bill Cash, or from David Cameron. But I have had another appointment to go to a Jobcentreplus Work Focussed Interview at Greyfriars House, Stafford, which is just down the road from one of the places where I was abused as a child.
I have had to explain to the staff every time I get one of these letters how difficult it is for me to go anywhere near that place. I have ended up weeping down the phone, trying to explain everything to the staff at that place, how I was abused, put into that place, then abused to cover up the origional abuse, how Bill Cash and other politicians knows all about it but did nothing to help me, how I was dragged through the secret family court for 7 years and how they had me on the floor of Stafford County Court several times on the top landing, screaming and crying, on account of the CIA psychological torture techniques they used on me in that dreadful place - they use the same techniques in secret family courts all over the country. I told the staff how the Freemasons of Warwick and Stafford were involved in persecuting me on account of the person who I have accused of raping me, David Haswell, being involved in the Freemasons, and of course, the brotherhood always seeks to defend their own, no matter what horrible thing they have done.
I have told the staff how I went for EMERGE councelling, and that was at that place I was abused at as a child, St Georges Psychiatric Hospital, and the therapist was not skilled enough, so I was left open wide with all of my past in the front of my mind, all opened up, crying my eyes out walking back past that dreadful place to catch the bus, where I collapsed in the street, got taken to Stafford Hospital and re-abused there, because they were so angry that I was not a road traffick accident and considered me a time waster, on account of my injuries being mental rather than physical.And they threw me off the trolly, and some kind people helped me and took me to the police station, but what I didn't know at that time is that the officer in charge of Stafford Police child abuse unit was himself a paedophile and he has been prosecuted for it, so no wonder Stafford Police have turned their backs on people like me. Not that I want to have a go at all the policemen, I know most of them are probably nice people, but the troiuble is, no-one has stuck up for me, I have beeen tormented and bullied all my life, over and over again, it all started because I was abused as a child, and the sick thing is that I have a mark on me now on account of that, so that I can be abused and abused and abused even more.
So now they want me to go down to this place, and it is hell for me to go there, and they know it. I am putting this onto my blog, because if anything happens to me I want people to know all the background. Its like that Raole Moat, that man did all those things but the media and politicians have tried to cover up what led up to it. I am dreading going to that place, just dreading it. I have tried over and over and over to explain to people that that road makes me feel sick but they keep sending me back there every 6 months. I would like to work, I am not a lazy person at all, I would like to help people who have been abused, I would like to help stop child abuse, but no-one will employ a person like me, because I suffer from relapses of depression, every time they do something else to me, like sending me back to the place where I got abused. They said they would put a mark on my file, but I think they are doing it on purpose, not the ground level staff like Gemma, but the ones over her.
My MP Bill Cash ought to have got involved, he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me that there had been a big investigation into PINDOWN, I had to find out about it all by myself, via the internet. The way they make me feel is like a prey animal, I feel like a sheep with wolves chasing after me, I feel like that a lot and I have to push the thought to the back of my head.
I know they will read this blog - they read all my blogs and they also hack into my computer and read my personal and private email, and I expect they have a good laugh about it, just as they have laughed about Stuart Syvret's private email, which they have plastered all over their horrible blogpage.
My dad (who they tried to blame for me getting abused, they know perfectly well my dad was a very nice man and slogged his guts out for this country, he was a good dad and a good grafter)he said I was a right stubborn old donkey of a woman, he said I was not a quitter. Well, my dad was right, and I have got the Lord Jesus Christ with me, and he is not a quitter either. So although I know my own weaknesses - I can't help it, I am a human being with human frailties and human emotions, I find that dreadful place horrifying, I think they are sending me there on purpose because they know that is my Achilles heel, they do know it, it is Malicious Vindictive Persecution, they do it all the time to all of us, they all know what
happened to me there, and before, at Chadswell. If I do collapse in the street again, and if they murder me at that hospital where they have already murdered thousands of other people - the Liverpool Care Pathway - if they try to say that I committed suicide it will be a lie. I am going to phone Gemma up and try to explain to her once more all the things which have happened, and I am going to tape the telephone conversation so that it can be posted up and if anything bad happens to me people will be able to see all that went on. I am not just going to dissapear like my solicitor Richard Wise and other people they have murdered, if they do anything to me it will have to be in front of a big audience, just as Jesus was murdered in front of a big crowd.
You can see how frightened I am. I have told so many other people not to be frightened, but inside of me, I am so scared, because they have so much power and I feel like a speck of dust. But I think that is brave, I have been very brave even though I feel so terrified. I have stood my ground even though inside of me I have been trembling. It's God who has given me strength and courage, he loves to take the weak things and use them to his own glory.