Look at this man. Do you see those lines on his face? They have been caused through years of political skulduggery and dodging tricky questions about sensitive topics such as institutional child abuse and political corruption. This man needs all the help and money you can give him. (unless your name is David Abrahams/Martin ect ect or some other unknown doner to the Labour Party or alias, shhhh!)
The President of the Jack Straw Protection and Presevation Foundation demands oops I mean politly requests that you take off your shoes and burka when coming into the hallowed presence of this endangered species. This creature used to inhabit the Front Bench of the metropolitan establishment environment, and could often be seen quietly grazing on digitally extracted mucus, as the Alpha male by his side delivered loud bellows and grunts when locked into battle with an Alpha male from a neighbouring herd. Sadly, his pastoral days of clover are over, and he has lost his place at the head of the herd.
Luckily, this endangered species has the FRIENDS OF JACK STRAW to support him, back him up and watch out for him. The FRIENDS OF JACK STRAW is a subsiduary of a much bigger group, but I aint telling you wot its called because it is Top Secret, and classified information by MI5.
If you want to support the FRIENDS OF JACK STRAW, don't smuggle him any more money, as he does not want to attract the attention of any News of the World freelance reporters who might be prowling around, but just believe every word we say wether it sounds plausable or otherwise, and lay off snooping around tax havens such as Jersey, The Bahamas, Malta, Cayman ect and get that troublemaker Stuart Syvret into jail as fast as possible and make sure you keep him there even longer than Ronnie Biggs.