Thursday, 6 June 2013


Today I am going for my first GP referral session with yet another agency for "therapy" for child abuse.

I am not expecting anything good to come out of this, because already I am disgusted at the lack of accountibility and information available of this service providor. I am also very concerned about some of the things I have found out about this service providor.

I expect I will have to watch my back very carefully, as per usual.

I will have to go through with this dodgy "therapy" though, as my GP has referred me, and I am not going to give anyone any excuse at all to turn round and say "She refused treatment".

Why can't these boobies simply apologise? Why can't they let me have my life?


Anon said...

It may turn out to be good.

Give it a chance.

Zoompad said...

Looking forward to seeing me this morning are you?

Zoompad said...

Don't you ever feel a sense of shame, doing this abusive crap to another human being?

Zoompad said...

I will see if I get that apology. That apology that I have waited 40 years for.

That will make things right, and nothing else. No amount of stupid brainwashing techniques is going to put anything right, and you know damned well. You better not try any more tricks, because I will find them all out, every last one.

Zoompad said...


Try clicking on Anon.

"Whoops! The page could not be found. Try giving it another chance below"

Anonymous said...

barbara we are all with you, you have done so much for us, men cant talk about being abused by gays, but asa man you have helped me cry out what happened to me in that orphanage
you are my hero

Zoompad said...

So glad my blog is helping other people, but please dont make me your hero, I haven't done anything much, I'm really only a woman screaming out in pain.

I was abused by my brother, who should have been a good man, because we had a good enough father, thats how all the nightmare started for me. But my brother was abused by a teacher at our primary school, only at the time people didn't call what the big bullying cane wielding arse hole Mr Walters child abusers, they were too busy tittering about DC Thompsons depictions of other abusive arseholes just as bad as Wally Walters enjoying themselves by ritually beating little boys.

No wonder boys like my brother didn't have any respect for authority in the shape of sleazy bullies such as that one! What did that blasted school teach my brother about kindness and goodwill to other men and women? He had the goodness whacked out of him, because my dad certainly tried to teach us goodness and kindness, even though he didnt go to church except for hatches matches and dispatches.

The gay "councellor" I had with Emerge (before I realised how the Gay Rights groups have taken over just about everything) spent virtually the whole of one of 8 sessions I was finally given trying to brainwash me into blaming my mum and dad for the abuse and the horrible things that have happened to me. The crafty swine are taking over loads of charities which were set up to help people, and they are making them useless.

Zoompad said...

Yesterday left me feeling exhausted. It was pretty much the same old blox.

I laid my cards down on the table (keeping a few aces back of course) and told the councellor exactly what I wanted, which is an apology, for someone on high to quit the monkey games and actually do something to put things right.

The hired hand councellor told me that an apology was impossible, and offered me cognitive behavioural therapy (everything under the carpet) brainwashing instead! The councellor also tried to plead ignorance to the Secret (therefore illegal) Family Courts.

So, the stupid cat and mouse games these dodgers are playing with me continues.

The stupid thing about all of this is that I really was telling the truth yesterday. I really do feel exhausted and want to just do nice things, and just "get over" it, but the malicious vindictive persecutors who are determined as hell to cover everything up and make me STFU as they did Richard Wise wont let me!

Paedos are pretty stupid though. They do all their thinking with their willies. They are smashing themselves up with all the cover ups, they actually make themselves visible, so I suppose thats something to rejoice about.

Zoompad said...

"men cant talk about being abused by gays, but asa man you have helped me cry out what happened to me in that orphanage"

Thank God things are changing! The Friends Reunited started the fight back, because abused men were going on the school reunion sites and talking about the abuse that everyone who was around knew damned well had happened, but that had been "normalised" by comics such as the Beano.

Zoompad said...

I'm not blaming DC Thompson for all the child abuse. Those comics were just a window to see inside the soul of the nation.

I've just seen on the British Buggery Club "news" that ex Military are now going to be fast tracked into teaching. Thats been done before as well, and the results were not good. Why would anyone think it was a good idea to put trained killers in charge of classrooms of young children? Oh, I forgot, we are part of the Roman Empire, because I was living in dreamland, thinking this country really actually was a Christian country, and believing the Coronation Oath of Queen Elizabeth the Second!

Zoompad said...

An interesting discussion about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy:

cbt is widely favoured by politicians because it is relatively cheap. Usually 6 - 12 sessions and your done with apparently demonstrable results. studies show that cbt is effective in 60% of cases - of those 60%, many will represent within two years. - there have been few, if any, comparitive and placebo studies. some suggest that those who show improvements would have improved anyway and that a significant percentage will respond to therapists irrespective of the type of therapy.

cbt is based on the notion that the mentally ill have a deformed world view or schema. this 'wrong thinking' causes us to be anxious and/or depressed. negative world views are maintained by an internal dialogue e.g. negative automatic thoughts ("i'm too fat", "i'm useless", "i can't do this". "i always get it wrong"). people see what they expect to see. a negative cognitive bias gives rise to negative experiences which then reinforce the negative world view.

the cbt process usually involves keeping a diary to recognise core beliefs and associated negative automatic thoughts. the therapist will then challenge these ideas and encourage you to replace them with an agreed upon strategy of positive thinking. in a nutshell it is about spin. in a scapegoating society which proposes that people get what they deserve, cbt is popular because it suggests that your problems are your own fault. people are ill because they think badly. society isn't the problem - you are!

is it an accident when the apparently successful are said to be 'living the dream'? most people survive day to day by lying to themselves - they tell themselves that they are thinner, better looking, more intelligent than they are - that promotion is more likely than it is - that they can afford that new car or holiday - that they are better liked than they are - that things are going to get better... they have to believe these lies so they can survive in a hostile society. these personal myths reflect the foundation myths of society at large. as above so below. both are continually eroded and then reinforced by media, marketing and peer pressure in obvious and subtle ways.

those of us who fail to subscribe totally to these illusions wake up to the horror of an uncaring world where there is no justice or fairness or haven. cbt is all about learning to dream again.

Zoompad said...

I've got another appointment in a couple of weeks, so lets see what happens.

Will I get the apology, and a proper honest attempt to remove the thorn, or will I get more of this crap?

I expect they will all be putting their heads together and having a big discussion about it anyway. That in itself is a good thing, as while they're busy doing that they haven't got time to get up to any other mischief!

Zoompad said...

"Oh, I forgot, we are part of the Roman Empire"

The Romans were really into spanking, thats why London is the capital of spanking enthusiasts, thats where it all comes from, "All roads lead to Rome"

Paedophiles are having a field day in the UK right now. It is like a gardener putting all the right things into the ground to make it fertile for a particular plant. The conditions are pretty much perfect for paedophiles in the UK right now. But the earth is groaning with all the victims, the earth is actually groaning, just as the Bible prophesied.

The Crapholic Church and their ritual beatings of children. Remember the horrific tortures, the instruments of torture they created. Hypocrites and bullies of the first order, they felt at home under the cloak of respectability there. People trusted the church, and they have been spiritually raped.

I have struggled to understand why God allows so much suffering, but I wont let go of His hand, I know he exists and the world didnt just create itself, but the pain of living in this God hating world, its so awful, and I feel like the Little Mermaid, like walking on knives!

Zoompad said...

"those of us who fail to subscribe totally to these illusions wake up to the horror of an uncaring world where there is no justice or fairness or haven. cbt is all about learning to dream again"

I don't want to be a dreamer. I don't want to be brainwashed into pretending everything is ok when its not.

I want an apology. I will get one. either in this world or the next. I don't really want an apology from hell bound people, I would much rather have one from repenting people who have turned away from the devil in disgust.

I don't want revenge, so why would I want anyone to burn in hell for all eternity (as is going to happen to those who refuse to turn away from their sins, not my words but Gods)

I would rather recieve an apology and forgive those who have wronged me than witness their banishment from Heaven

Anonymous said...

I read an internal report recently
on the worrying state of child welfare of kids of homosexual couple parents, this conflicts with a pice up on aangirfan today which claims they are better cared for.
the college of psychiatry privately stated the children of homosexual couples need more care and attention and should have extra visits by health visitors and other professionals

Zoompad said...

Yes, I've just seen that as well, haven't had time to look into it properly yet but I would be very surprised if the so called "research" did not have links to the Kinsey Institute/FMSF ect.

What people need to remember is the absolute defiant arrogance of those American paedophile gangsters, people like Ralph Underwager and Richard Gardner. They are absolutly determined even to the point of death to gain the legal right to rape children and to stomp on anyone who gets in their way. You only have to listen to their own words to understand that much.

Whenever there is new "research" that seems at odds with common sense or long established knowledge, its a very good idea to try to find out exactly where these new ideas have come from, and, even more importantly, where the money for funding it has come from.