Monday, 29 June 2009

Surviving institutional abuse

Although I have been attacked by certain trolls from a particular site that is SUPPOSED to help survivors of child abuse (which is recieving funding from the freemasons), and falsely and unjustly accused of being mean to other child abuse survivors, I think it can easily be seen that I am on a mission to try to end institutional abuses, wether they be against old, young or infirm, I just think all of this bullying has to stop.

I don't really know how I survived all the institutional abuse. It's a bit of a mystery to me, and certainly a miracle. How did so many of the Holocaust survivors survive? That's a mystery as well. All I know is that I kept praying to Jesus to help me, and He did.

In fact, that is my first tip to surviving institutional abuse. I would be very wary of any group which is either set up in a particular religion, or that bans God altogether. The Freemasons have a form of religion, but it is like a dry and dusty version of the truth. The last thing abuse survivors need is to

1) get involved in a cult

2) be spied upon by people PRETENDING to help, but secretly stabbing you in the back.

It is a horribe shock when you first discover what Common Purpose is. I wept buckets when I realised, and I just felt as though I had died inside. I felt so shocked - I didn't want to believe it at first. I spent a lot of time praying, and reading the Bible. Somehow, reading the Old Testament, the stories of Abraham, Jeramiah, David, Moses, Daniel ect, the age old struggle of good against evil made me feel comforted.

I realised that I had been living in a dream world - the History of England that I had been fed as a schoolchild was a sanitised version of the true state of affairs. It is a dreadful shock when you first realise the extent to which you have been lied to by your "superiors".

The abuse I suffered gradually started to fall into place in the wider picture. I started to realise that the way I had been abused was not the malicious targetting that I had thought at all - it was more in the mature of an attempt to stifle me into silence. The more I spoke with other people who had suffered institutional abuse the more I realised that. It is still evil - but not as evil as I had supposed. It began to dawn on me that the freemasons who I had feared to be a shadowy gang of soulless devils were, in fact, a large body of people who had lost their way somewhere between infancy and adulthood.

I have never actually been in a gang, but I do understand the nature of gang mentality. I understand how there are ringleaders who manage to control the other members using a variety of psychological tactics, fear being the main one. A gang cannot function without a ringleader at least one, but sometimes two or three. Another important thing to understand about gangs is that most people in a gang are only there out of fear. They fear being on the outside of the gang - that is the drive which compels them to comply with the gang mentality.

It gradually dawned on me that the Freemasons are, in fact, a gigantic gang. I was astonished when I first realised this, because whilst it is so obvious when you realise the truth - nevertheless, it is an amazing thing to realise that so very few people actually are responsible for so much chaos. It puts in mind a newspaper report I read of a young boy who was responsible for most of the crime on his housing estate. The police were, according to the newspaper reporter, unable to stop him wrecking the peace of the whole estate, because of his age.

That discovery re-assured me, in the sense that, although the damage and disaster is great, because it is only a very few people at the top of the pyramid who are actually responsible, who are the driving force for all the evil, which means that the great majority of freemasons would, in fact, be perfectly decent people, if only they could see clearly. If they could only see what they are a party to, they would, in fact, recoil in horror and reject it. Most freemasons are not wanting to participate in evil, and if they only could see clearly what it is they are linked with, they would turn away from it in disgust.

As Danny Kaye says, in bthe film Hans Christian Anderson, "Most people are nice"

Most people are indeed nice - but they are also frightened. Most people do live in fear. The trouble with living in fear is that it stops you actually living. You cannot live a happy joyful life if you are terrified all the time.

Institutional abuse survivors, survivors of malicious vindictive persecution, know all about the relentless attacking, and how it wears a person down. It is only when you can face up to it by saying, "Sod this - this is like hell on earth - if they get me they get me, but they are going to have to do it in front of an audience!" that you can stop the relentless bullying.

I told the Teacher about the bullies. I know that God hears my prayers, and the prayers of anyone else who calls out to Him in faith and trust. God hates bullying - I know He does.

Anyway, I hope that reading this rambling post might help someone else, as that is what I posted it for.


Anonymous said...

'GO OUT FIGHTING' is my motto.

Anonymous said...

The legend of the Thorn Birds -

There's a story... a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree... and never rests until it's found one. And then it sings... more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to outsing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles.

Anonymous said...

That's a beautiful story, of the Thorn Bird, but that's not my story.

I think my story is more like the humble little spider that inspired Robert the Bruce because she kept trying and trying to spin her web again and again, until she succeeded.

I will see an end to this abusive system, praise God, I KNOW I will!Would God have given me so much faith otherwise? I don't think so somehow!

There's a change coming, on the horizon, and I know that I am not the only one to feel it coming, praise God!