Thursday, 31 March 2011


I just watched the programme on BBC 2, its affected me in a really bad way. I tried to ring the helpline, I just wanted to talk to someone about the programme, because Stafford Police chewed me up and spat me out, they have not investigated my complaints properly at all, the BBC, they gave a number 08000 934 934, and it was just music and a man with a strange message, its really really really upset me. Why have a helpline after a programme thats bound to upset people and then not even have people manning it properly?

This is just like torturing people over and over again, they get your hopes up that someone at last cares, then they just drop you down like a stone. Do they do it on purpose? It looks to me like they do.


Proud Survivor said...

Zoompad. I too watched the Neil Morrisey programme and immediately thought of you. The part where he talked about his brother, now dead who was in a Staffordshire care home was profoundly moving as was the rest of the programme. I can relate to Neil's inability to sustain relationships for fear of being rejected.

I am sorry you were unable to speak to anyone about your feelings after the show but please write them on here so I can hear how that programme impacted on you and reply.

If you would rather email then send it to VFC to forward to me as he has my email

Big hug


Zoompad said...

Lorna, you are so kind xx

I did manage to get through in the end, and spoke to a man, , I think his name was Jamesand told him how the program had made me feel. I told him that I was really happy that the program had been shown, but that the whole story had not been shown, and how some of the people who were abused have not been helped at all, in fact they have been persecuted. I told him all about Richard Wise and how Richard had tried to help so many people but then he suddenly died and they didnt even tell me where his funeral was so I could lay flowers on his grave, because Richard Wise was like Stuart, he was so kind and lovely and honest and good, and I was devestated when he died because he was really trying to help me, and when Tulip took over they didnt help at all, they didnt care, and then I got persecuted in the secret family courts.

He gave me a number to ring, the National Association For People Abused in Childhood, 0800 853330, and I told him I was scared of organisations that are supposed to help abuse survivors because I had been sent to the place where I was abused by EMERGE, and it seems that they did it maliciously, I begged for another place for the therapy, and it was not until I collapsed in the street in Stafford after a really traumatic therapy session at St Georges and ended up in Stafford Hospital, where the staff threw me off the trolly because I was not a road traffic accident - they were treating me as a time waster - that EMERGE decided to change the venue, but then the man tried to blame my dad for the abuse, and my dad was not an abuser, he had Asperger Syndrome and was easily tricked by the man who raped me, but he did try to be a good dad, and it really hurt me when Trevor tried to blame my dad. Also, I think he was showing the secret familoy courts notes from the therapy sessions, and I did ask time and time again if the councelling sessions were confidentoial and he said yes but I dont think they were.

Zoompad said...

I also told him how I had been using SAFELINE and how I found out they were funded by the freemasons of Warwick, and Judge Cleary is one of them, and he had been spying on me when I posted on that website, and when I had complained to the lady she had thrown me off and blocked me from the site and so I went to the library to look at what they were saying and they were all ganging up on me, so she had blocked me and allowed other people to post malicious stuff about me and I could not even reply to the horrible things they were saying! How that is supposed to help people who were abused as children I have no idea! And also they came onto my blog and I have got the blogposts up, but I didnt put the malicious things they said about me online, not the threatening emails written in red that I got from a man who uses the site either. He said he had been satanically abused, but then he denied it but when he wrote to me he wrote in red and two emails and they were not nice emails and a friend of mine was shocked when I showed them to her and told me that red symbolises blood, and capitals were shouting, I didnt realise.

Zoompad said...

So I looked up that organisation the man gave me, and I was really sad when I found it, it is NAPAC, and I had already contacted them, they said they could not help me and the man was not very nice to me, and I think the man who runs that site is only interested in money and not helping people. And the Survivors Trust, all the services I have contacted so far seem as useful as a chocolate teapot. They dont help and some of them even stab you in the back. Its like there is nowhere to go that will help, its like they are all either scared or corrupt. They get government funding, but as far as I can see none of these Not For Profit charities spend that money on helping any of the abuse survivors, I have conmtacted loads of them, all they ever do is send leaflets or links to other websites, its like round and round the circle, they pass you on to other people who p[ass you on, round and round and round, its completly useless and I think its malicious and cruel. I think they are doing it on purpose to mess peopl;es heads up so they dont know if they are coming or going, and reduced to complete depression. Really really depressed people they can just write off and label with some crap or other, Bi Polar and other crap, and its very very very hurtful.

Proud Survivor said...

Thanks for that Zoompad. I can see how that programme stirred so much up for you as it will have done for so many survivors. It is so hard that when you have been looking for help all this time it has often led to you suffering a different type of abuse from the very people who were supposed to be helping. It also seems that some people have a very different agenda of their own! It is easy for people to "blame the victim" and call you a "time-waster" as people are often scared by the despair of others if they aren't covering their own backs. You go out of your way to help other people and even when at your lowest ebb after the loss of your lawyer who was a tower of strength to you - you can still laugh at Ian's wonderful posting. You are not a Jersey woman but I think you have almost become one by proxy so you get the joke.

It seems to me that you get more love and therapy on these blogs than you would get from any help-line. You also give me a good few laughs when I am feeling low. Stuff the labels - bi-polar - whatever. In your life you have been hurt so many times and you always bounce back ready to take somebody else on. You have your faith at the core of your priorities and I think that is what keeps you going.

Bless you Zoompad - you are a legend

Love from Lorna

Zoompad said...

Lorna, there is a beautiful story in the Bible called Ruth. It is the life story of one of Jesus's ancestors. Ruth's life was disrupted by tragedy - her husband died, as did her father in law, and so she and her mother in law were left desolate. She decided to return with her mother in law to the people of her mother in law, and be as one of those people. The mother in law tried to disuade her, pointing out that Ruth was still young and might marry and so be looked after, she had no money and could only offer poverty to Ruth. But Ruth would not be deterred - she explained that she loved her mother, and wanted to be with her, whatever life brought her.

The way I came to know you people was that I had complained to Stafford Police about the abuse I suffered, and they did nothing. So when the Haut de la Garenne helpline came on television I phoned it, and spoke to a man - I think he was a Jersey policeman. He tried to help me by getting Stafford Police to do their job, but they would not. Then, I found Stuarts blog. I was determined that Haut de la Garenne was not going to be covered up in the way that Staffordshire Pindown and other national child abuse scandals have been. I have been praying for you all since then, and looking for the reason why these child abuse scandals have been covered up. The day I found out about Robert Webster was a day of complete and utter joy. It was like winning the lottery to see all those connections to the thing the Lord had led me to when I was fighting my corner in the secret family courts. I had written letter after letter about Ralph Underwager and Richard Gardner, and sometimes I was so exhausted, but I knew that I had to do it, because it was so important. I know God led me to that site and God led me to Stuart's blog and God is fighting alongside us because God is Love and hates child abuse. I really feel so proud to know so many brave people, I know what Chadswell Assessment Centre was like, and that was a dreadful place, but I think because Haut de la Garenne was more isolated it was probably even worse. I dont know if anyone was murdered at Chadswell, but I would not be at all surprised if they were at Haut de la Garenne, there were certainly children killed at that place.

Zoompad said...

I forgot to finish Ruth's story. It is a happy ending, Ruth gleaned in the fields to get food for her and her mother to live on, and she came to marry the owner of the fields, a wealthy man called Boaz. In that way, she not only escaped poverty for her and her mother, she also had children, and became one of Jesus Christ's ancestors. I like to think that Ruth was rewarded by God for her kindness to her mother and her steadfastness, and her faith. Its a good lesson I think, I like her story very much.

Zoompad said...

Sorry, but I meant to say that the thing that most strikes me about Ruth's story is that it was all centred round love. Ruth loved her mother in law, it was love that refused to sever her connection to her. I feel that connection with you Jersey abuse survivors, I feel so moved inside by your love and loyalty to each other. Something very beautiful has come out of something very ugly, I cant describe it, I dont think there are any good good words this side of heaven to describe it, but thdere is a strong love and loyalty amongst you abuse survivors. it's like a big pile of manure and a plant has grown out of it and spread all over and started to blossom, and I know that probably sounds like mumbo jumbo but that is what I feel.

Proud Survivor said...

I love the story of Ruth and have used it in a family service with children at my church. I know just what you mean about how something beautiful has come out of the black hole that was HDLG. I felt despair in 2008 when the news broke and it took me some time to screw up the courage to come forward but I am so glad I did. When I discovered Stuart's blog I found a whole new world of people who understood how I was feeling and you were one of them!

When I came to Jersey last September for the first time since the story broke I met Stuart and Carrie, Jill, Rico and Neil and I finally felt that I had really come home. I have no blood family left in Jersey now but after that visit I feel that I have a whole new family there. With Carrie's support I visited HDLG for the last time and I now feel as I said to her that day - I never need to go there again.

And yes, Zoompad - I believe that there are the remains of children in there. Possibly around half a dozen. These deaths were concealed to protect the guilty and they know who they are.


Zoompad said...


Have you noticed how all those Survivors Trust places that get government money SUPPOSEDLY to help people like us never do anything to help us find each other? In fact, in my experience, they do their best to keep all us abuse survivors apart!

I asked EMERGE to help me get in touch with other people who were at Chadswell Assessment Centre. They did nothing. I asked Staffordshire SS to either put me in touch with other Chadswell inmates or at least give other survivors my email or blog details. They did nothing. Same as Safeline, they did not encourage people from the same hell hole home to meet. We have been kept isolated, the police know where the other survivors are, no=one wants to help us, but they will cheerfully persecute us. I get a very strong impression that what they would all like most of all is that we survivors either become criminals so they can demonise us and put us into jail, or that we take our own lives. I feel hated and persecuted, and I am not being paranoid. Oh yes, thats the other thing - they try to label us as paranoid nutters. I think the treatment I have recieved as an adult survivor is in some ways even worse than how I was treated as a child, because it is so crafty and subtle. So glad Bill Maloney and the others are fighting our corner, we have some good men fighting for us, and that makes me feel warm inside, they are fighting for the rights of children not to be abused. Bill Maloney is a real man, with balls and integrity, and in comparison these cowards in uniform that call themselves the police are like scared little boys. The so called police are letting paedophiles prey on children, they persecute the victims of child abuse, I feel sick when I see a police car, I have tried to see things from the police viewpoint, but I cant any more, all I see is a bunch of cowards now.

Anonymous said...

Hi just a little info re Neil Morrissey.
Neil lived at home with his Parents & 3 brothers he only went into care at 12/13 not age 10 as in program.
Neil Morrissey has lied to everyone inorder to win favor he has walked all over real Carehome kids and someday his lies will be reveled.
I watched the program whitch was well made but only paid lip service to care organizations inorder to add drama to Neils " STORY" you should be ashamed of yourself Neil.

Zoompad said...

I wasn't sure wether to publish the above comment or not. I decided to, because I thought that if anonymous people are saying this Neil Morrissey ought to at least have a chance to be made aware of it, so that he can have a decent chance to defend himself.

Anonymous, if you want to furnish me with details to back up your claim that Neil Morrissey lied please do so, and please tell me who you are as well. I promise I will not publish what you tell me onto this blog, but will just research it. Otherwise, I am going to have to just assume that you are a mole.